


Sam Needs A Vacation

by cosplayermadness



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Gen, Humour, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Nightmares, Suicide Attempt, bed sharing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-07-29 06:12:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 33,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16258316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosplayermadness/pseuds/cosplayermadness
Summary: The rifts are closed, the kids are okay, except Dean’s being a real ass. No, cuz you can clean an ass and apologize and things would be resolved. Dean, oh, Dean’s been acting like a sewage treatment plant, without the treatment. So Sam takes Jack from the bunker to have a little vacation away from the bs, and a certain angel decides to tag along just in case the two youngin’s get in trouble.Set after 13x22 but Gabriel didn’t die cuz fuck that. Rated teen for language, a bit of violence, and a touch of gore.





	1. Chapter 1

“Are you serious? Are you  _ seriously _ bringing this up?  _ Now?!” _  Sam stood in the kitchen, arms outstretched in absolute disbelief at what his brother was saying at the moment.

Dean slammed the beer bottle he’d been drinking from on the counter, pissed as all hell. “Yeah! You’re damned right I am! You always do this Sam! I -”

“OH!  _ I’m  _ the one who  _ always does this? _ Am I now? Well, that’s just  _ great _ , real  _ nice _ sentiment coming from  _ you.” _

“What’s  _ that  _ supposed to mean?”

“You know  _ damn well _ what that means. You’re  _ always _ doing shit you tell me not to, but you think its okay cuz  _ you’re  _  the one doing them, and whenever I so much as  _ think _ of doing some stupid shit in the name of good -”

“Oh,  _ this  _ shit again!”

“- you’re  _ always ragging on me! _ I can’t do  _ one thing _ without the  _ great Dean Winchester _ telling me how I’m doing it aaaaall wrong. You’re always criticizing me on everything from how I load a gun to- to how I gank a demon, to how- to how  _ I do my hair _ ! You’re always thinking you’re the one right, and everyone who doesn’t agree is a moron!”

Dean scoffed, rolling his eyes. “In  _ this situation,  _ I AM right, and your judgement is clouded-”

“OH!  _ My  _  judgement is the one clouded. Oh. Oh, okay, suuuure. You know what, Dean? If my judgement is  _ so clouded _ then maybe I should just give you some space, huh?”

Both brothers were heaving breaths now, a small audience gathered by the entrance of the kitchen, all just hidden enough that the boys wouldn’t notice unless they tried walking out. Mary was waiting for lull in the shouting to walk in, calm down her boys and have them sit and talk it out. She hadn’t caught the first part of the argument, but she caught enough to know they were talking from a place of hurt, their anger biting and palpable enough for her to know they didn’t mean half the shit they were saying. She thought she had her chance when Jack walked by next to her. 

“Mary? What’s… why are they fighting?” She tried to stop him, but he moved too fast, walking into the kitchen and right in front of -

“Fine! Then move out!” Dean whipped his half open beer bottle against the wall, missing Jack’s face by two inches, startling the three of them. 

“Dean!” Sam chastised, running over to the boy to check on him. “Are you okay Jack?” Big hands ran over his shoulders, pulling a piece of glass from his hair. 

Jack stood shocked, mouth hung open as he stared at Dean’s guilty face. “I -” He was at a loss for words. He couldn’t move, so shell shocked. After coming back from a world destroyed by Michael, Lucifer stuck on that side, seeing people being blown to smithereens, he thought it was over. That the violence was over for a little while. The calm had only lasted eight days. 

“J-” Dean stepped forward, but stopped, seeing Jack flinch. “Jack, I’m sorry, that- that wasn’t supposed to-” But he couldn’t speak past the lump in his throat.

Sam threw daggers with his eyes in his brother’s direction, grabbing Jack by the wrist. “Jack and I are going to move out for a bit. Until you can get your  _ shit _ together and  _ deal with it. _ I’m taking the Corolla.  _ Don’t _ follow us.” He gently pulled Jack out of the kitchen, scoffing when he passed the people all scrambling to pretend like they weren’t just eavesdropping on them. Mary reached out for him, but he was faster, pulling Jack to the bedrooms to pack. 

She changed trajectory to check on her other son, Dean sliding to the ground to hold his head in his hands, running them through his short hair. “Dean..”

“My fault.” He mumbled into his hands, refusing to look at her, ashamed. “It’s my fault, I know it is, I - I didn’t mean to- mean to  _ say  _ that, I just-”

She pulled him to her, holding him on the ground, rocking him gently as she hummed. “I know baby, I know you didn’t mean it. But it’s been said. It’s done. It’s gonna be okay. He needs time to cool off.”

“No, mom, you don’t understand -”

“Shhh… tell me later, okay?” She held him tighter, rocking back and forth and humming  _ Hey Jude _ , ignoring the tears streaming down his face.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------

 

Sam drove all through the night, Jack in the seat next to him not saying a word for hours as they drove north. He knew he should have asked Jack if he wanted to come, shouldn’t have made the kid pack a bag without notice, just  _ taken him _ without consulting him. Or his mom. Or Dean - NO. Dea didn’t get a say right now. He had been a real dick to the kid from the beginning, and though Sam knew why, it didn’t make it better. He  _ had _ to put his foot down, for the well being of Jack. The kid was never going to grow up like a normal kid, but he should at least grow up relatively  _ safe. _ He deserved that much at least, and Dean’s alcoholism and short temper weren’t helping in that category. He’d have to make sacrifices to keep the kid safe, especially since Cas and Dean were dropping the ball in more ways than one. Sure, they tried, but not enough in Sam’s book. 

It was around 4:15am when they arrived at Sioux Falls, Alex pulling into the driveway after a long night shift at the hospital just seconds before they did. She stood like a deer in headlights at the front door, key in hand, confused and a little apprehensive. “Uh… Sam? Did- Did Claire call you? Was- are we expecting you?” 

He climbed out of the car, Jack following suit, the kid looking around in wonder at the new blossoms in front of the living room window. “Hey Alex, uh, not really. I - I texted Jody last night - well, I guess earlier this morning , I - we kinda need a place to crash. Just for a few days. It’s… complicated.”

She nodded, looking unsure at Jack. “Uh… is that him?” 

Jack turned towards her, smiling widely as he moved quickly to her side, hand extended. “Yes, hello. I’m Jack. It’s nice to meet you Alex. Sam speaks highly of you.”

She shook his hand, though her face was still a tad confused. “Oh? That’s nice. Uh, nice to meet you too Jack.” She looked at Sam with apprehension but shook her head and turned to unlock the door. “Might as well come in, and I’ll make you some tea. Jody doesn’t wake up for at least another two hours, so you’ll have to entertain yourselves on the couch until then.”

“That’s fine with me.” Sam enveloped her in a hug once she unlocked the door. She accepted it willingly, squeezing him back. “Thanks Alex.”

“No problem. We just have to whisper. Patience got home late last night with a migraine so we best not wake her unless you want all holy hell to break loose.”

They sat quietly at the dining room table, sipping tea and talking about Alex’s work quietly. She’d been busy with her schooling and had finally graduated and working under some great nurses and doctors. She hadn’t been dating, though she had hinted that the same couldn’t be said about Claire. Patience had gotten a job in town at the bookstore and was enjoying it so far, though she did mention to Alex how she wasn’t too keen on the lack of lore books they stocked. 

Alex bid them good night about an hour after they got in, yawning as much as Sam was, and turned the DVR on for them so they could watch something while they waited for Jody. Jack leaned his side against Sam’s, his feet tucked under his bottom as he sat on the couch. Quietly, over the soft sounds of  _ Brooklyn Nine Nine _ , he asked, “are we going to be okay?”

Sam sighed, patting the boy’s knee. “Yeah. We’ll be okay. We’re just… in a rough patch. We’ll be okay, I promise.”

Jack hummed, seemingly happy with that answer. “Okay.”

They sat leaned against one another, watching a bunch of fictional characters having a better time catching criminals than they did. But it was okay, because they would be okay. 


	2. Chapter 2

Jody awoke with stiff joints. She didn’t normally have her knees crack like a box of Pop Rocks in a can of Coke, but when she pushed herself too hard, and the rain would start, they would flare up and getting out of bed became a bit of a nightmare. Still… she had work, and breakfast and.. Life. She sighed, flipping the blankets off her, crawling out of bed, pulling her phone close to her, only to find out that her charger hadn’t been plugged into the outlet. Great. A dead phone an hour before work. Yay. 

Shaking her head, she walked carefully to the bathroom, turning the shower to full blast, as hot as it could go. It burned, but it helped ease the pain in her left leg from it being broken twice now. She rubbed lotion on the old scar once she’d dried off, reluctantly getting dressed for the day. Rain meant more reckless drivers who thought they can outdrive rain drops - idiots - which meant more cops needed on the streets to monitor them as well as provide relief to the inevitable stop light going out. Seemed it was going to be a predictable rainy Tuesday. Or it would have been, if she didn’t find a sleeping hunter on her couch, a nephilim watching tv intently next to him.  

“Uh… did I miss something?” 

Jack looked up from the show he’d been engrossed in, looking at Jody with wide eyes a second before shaking Sam’s shoulder gently. “Sam, Jody’s awake. Hello Jody,” he extended a hand towards her, standing to greet her politely. “I’m Jack. It’s lovely to meet you. Sam and Dean speak very highly of you.”

“Uh… thanks kid. Good to meet you too…” she shook his hand, perplexed but handling the situation fairly well. 

Sam stirred on the couch, sitting upright and struggling to stand. “Sorry, sorry, I, I meant to stay awake but we’ve been driving through the night and I couldn’t find a motel room open until later today at like,” he checked his phone, reading the reservation he’d set up for later in the day. “Three pm. I just… we needed somewhere to stay out for a bit.”

Jody nodded, sitting in her recliner after hugging Sam tightly. “I see. But, what’s going on? Did something bad happen? Where’s Dean?” 

At the mention of his brother’s name, he flinched. “It, Uh… didn’t you get my text?”

She held up the useless brick in one hand. “Dead. Didn’t push the charger into the outlet the whole way in. Just drained away. Come on Sam, is it  _ that  _ bad?” 

He opened his mouth to tell her, only to have Patience and Claire both stumble down to get food. Claire was so out of it, she didn’t even notice two extra people in her living room, heading straight for the coffee in the kitchen. Patience stopped dead in her tracks, though, staring at Jack in shock. “Wow. You’re… oh, wow!”

Sam nodded at the look Jack gave them, the kid leaping up to meet her and they both talked quickly as they joined Claire in the kitchen, who, clearly after having her first sip, had re-joined the land of the living and almost jumped half out of her skin at Jack saying ‘hello’. Or at least, Jody and Sam thought so by her shriek.

Jody turned her pleading eyes to her friend, asking again for him to tell her, knowing full well that whatever it was  _ had  _ to be bad. And oh boy, was it ever  _ bad _ . “He didn’t actually say that, did he?” 

Sam nodded solemnly. “Yeah. He did. And then he threw a beer bottle at the wall,  _ barely _ missing Jack’s face - the kid had glass in  _ his hair _ , Jody! His  _ hair.  _ That could have been his eye! He’s a kid - yeah a weird teenage-like kid who’s also part archangel with powers and the ability to fly - but he’s still a kid. Cas made a promise to Kelly that we’d keep her son safe, and we’re doing a piss poor job of it. I -“ he looked down at the hands in his lap. “I had to take him outta there. It’s not good for him. Not safe.”

“Not good for you either.” Sam’s eyes snapped up at that. She chuckled dryly. “Don’t give me that look. We both know Dean’s got a big heart but an even bigger complex. You both need therapy. A  _ lot _ \- no offence.” Sam threw his hands up in mock surrender. “But you do. And at least  _ you’re  _ heading in the right direction. I’m not going to excuse Dean’s behaviour because,” she let out a gust of air in annoyance. “But, you know he’s coming from a place of hurt. I’m glad you know enough about yourself that you got yourself out of there. And I’m glad you felt safe enough to come here. My couch is your couch.”

He chuckled, a tear leaking out from the corner of his eye. “Thanks Jody, it’s just… it’s  _ so hard _ trying to be in that bunker with him. I like the bunker, honestly, it’s so much more space then we ever grew up with, and if we had more space when we were kids, I dunno. Maybe we would have gotten along better. Either way, it’s… it’s too much for me. I’m…” he dropped his voice low enough so he hoped Jack wouldn’t hear. Or eavesdrop. “I’m barely holding it together as it is. That… that other version of our world. It was  _ awful.  _ I… I died, Jody. Vamps. They tore my neck out. Sometimes I still get nightmares about it. It’s been a week or so, so I get it. But, still. Lucifer was the one who brought me back, of all people. Or… beings, I guess. And he tried to use me as leverage with Jack, and I… it was all too much.” His hands shook. He couldn’t stop them from shaking if he tried, and normally, he would try. But the exhaustion of it all was seeping into all the little nooks and crannies in his joints, weighing him down into the soft cushions of the worn out couch. 

She moved off the recliner and sat on the couch, wrapping him up in a sideways hug. “It’s okay Sam, you’re gonna be okay. You’re safe here, and there’s coffee and we got food and a whole buncha stuff on the DVR.” He huffed a laugh, her own chuckles joining the mix. “You’ll be okay. Ignore what Dean said, he only said what he thought would hurt you. H -“

Sam shook his head. “I don’t care if he said it to hurt me or be true, either way, it was hurtful as hell and I won’t have Jack grow up in a place like that.” 

She nodded, saying nothing as they settled in the couch, listening in to Jack and Claire already arguing about which candy was the better choice for a roadtrip. 

After breakfast, Jody went to work, giving Patience a ride to the bookstore. Alex was still sleeping away, Claire voicing her concern for her pseudo sister’s workaholic behaviour. Alex still had this paranoia that she needed to leave to protect her little makeshift family, but Claire and Patience tried every day to give her reasons to stay. They had made friends with a couple hunters in Virginia who were trying to convince her to stay as well, and it seemed to be working and helped her work on her own insecurities. “She thinks she has to sacrifice for us, but that’s just dumb. We’re barely hanging on unless we’re all together, not that Jody’ doing a poor job, or anything,” Claire defended her as she stole a chip off Jack’s plate. “It’s just… we’ve all been through shit - some of it together - ya know? It’s… okay, so like, we’re kinda all messed up, but when we’re together, it’s less so. I don’t feel broken when I’m here and Patience is still having problems adjusting, but it gets easier cuz we sorta lean on one another. If Alex leaves..?” She blew out a gust of air, picking up on Jody’s mannerism. “I don’t think she can handle it. She’s strong, and tough as nails, but emotionally… we’re all stunted.”

Sam nodded, chewing on his apple thoughtfully, the low murmur of the TV in front of them giving a nice distraction. “I get it. But Claire… you’ve been hunting alone. How is that different?”

“I’m not actually, I stopped.” He turned a shocked expression her way, earning him a chuckle from her. “I’m still hunting, just not alone. Patience and I do research together and sometimes I’ll go out with Jody or Donna. Donna found these kick ass hunter women in Virginia. I’ve been hunting with them, mostly. One of them’s a registered nurse, so she’s taken to Alex like a mentor. Her sister’s ex-army and showed me how to disassemble a flare gun to make it reusable. And they have HBO on Demand.” Sam laughed at that.  **_Course they do, cuz their lives aren’t violent enough already._ **

Jack spent all morning pestering her with questions, trying to get to know his father’s vessel’s daughter more. It was weird, but a good distraction from the bad thoughts swirling in Sam’s head. Jack asked her about her “love life” - oh boy, was that the wrong phrase to say by the look on her face - genuinely interested, but Claire simply brushed it off, saying that ‘they weren’t into it.’ Sam wanted to know more, but Alex had come into the living room at that moment and plopped down onto the couch, half awake and half sitting on Claire’s lap.

It was nice. Having the opportunity to relax and talk about trivial things like how orange juice with pulp was far superior to the one without any was mind numbing. And he needed to numb his mind. There were always too many thoughts swirling around and it made him dizzy. This, the four of them just relaxing, chips and pop on the table, arguing over who was the better Avenger, it felt like home - how it’s supposed to feel, at least. 

The day went by in a blur and soon found Sam in the kitchen with Alex teaching him how she made her roast beef for dinner, Jack making a salad for the first time in his short life. It’s not that he didn’t eat them, it’s just that they’d gotten too used to buying the pre-made kits, especially since the past few months had been overwhelming in the amount of bullshit they’d been through. 

Jody and Patience came home just as dinner hit the table, Patience launching immediately into a story about the rudest customer of her day, an older gentleman who threw a book down on the ground because he “didn’t think the cover art represented the title properly. The level of disrespect,” she scoffed. “I don’t understand why anyone would think that it would be smart to do that? The author spends a year of their life pouring their heart and souls into a tomb, fight for a publishing company, and finally get the recognition and ability to become a household name, all for nothing when some jerk comes in and starts insulting and destroying your book just because he didn’t like the cover art - which you don’t even have control over!”

“Wait, authors don’t have control over that?” Sam asked, genuinely intrigued.

She shook her head. “No, mostly the publisher has final say. The author has a bit of say, of course, cuz they wrote it, but it’s usually up to the publishing company and the editor. It’s why the  _ Harry Potter _ book covers are different from country to country - the publishing house wanted them to better reflect the area where they’ll be read.”

Sam chewed that thought over in his head along with his green beans.  **_It would be pretty cool if lore books were like that,_ ** he thought.  **_Vampire books would look more gothic in Europe and more like chupacabra in Mexico. I wonder if the bunker has the same books in different languages.  Maybe I could -_ **

The roar of the impala’s engine cut off that thought however, Sam’s good mood out the window faster than a breeze taking a balloon up into the stratosphere. Jody huffed, pushing herself from her spot at the table to open the door before Dean would pound against it. Sam rolled his eyes, but joined her, the other occupants at the table all scrambling to sneak a peek through the curtains.

Dean emerging from the Impala wasn’t a surprise. He told Dean not to follow him, but Dean of course didn’t listen, because why would he? They were in a fight, one where Dean thought he was in the right. Of  _ course _ he would track Sam down to make up before Sam was ready. Because when he was like this, Dean didn’t wait for permission, he’d rather ask forgiveness later. He slammed the car door behind him, Castiel quick on his heels, muttering something along the lines of trying to reason with the hunter, but Sam wasn’t paying much attention. The back door of the car opened and Gabriel of all people - er, beings - climbed out. That there was a huge surprise. **_Why would he be here?_ ** Sam thought.  **_This isn’t about him, and besides, he_ ** **_hates_ ** **_being in cars._ **

“Sam!” Dean hollered, motioning his brother to come out of the house. Castiel grabbed at Dean’s arm, pulling him away from the house and asking him to ‘listen to reason, please.’ But Dean didn’t want to listen to reason. He wanted his brother back home, safe where he could see him. 

“What?” Sam spat back, arms crossed, half behind a tired looking Jody. She leaned against the frame with a frown. “What do you want?”

Dean scoffed. “You home, dude. This is stupid, come on. Let’s go home and have a beer and talk this out.”

“No.”

“No? What do you mean _no_?”

It was Sam’s turn to scoff. “I mean  _ no, _ as in ‘I’m not ready to talk about it.’ You made yourself  _ pretty _ clear last night, so no. I’m not going home anytime soon. Jack and I are going to have dinner at Jody’s and then we’re going to talk about what we’ll do next -  _ without you. _ I’ll talk only when I’m ready to. Until then, you’ll have to wait.”

Dean’s face went on a journey from shock to anger to frustration to resignation, and back to settle on anger. He huffed, stepping forward, stopped only by Castiel’s hand wrapped around his bicep. He tried shaking the angel off, but it was no use. Castiel knew if he let Dean get any closer, he’d never forgive himself. Sam was thankful that despite Castiel being on Dean’s side here, he still had the younger Winchester’s back. Dean looked back at Cas, turning his anger on the angel, but the sympathetic pleading look he got in return made him deflate easily, wiggling his way out of Cas’ slacked grip to climb back into the impala. 

Castiel sighed, following Dean back to the car. He stopped however when he noticed Gabriel hadn’t moved an inch, eyes flicking from Sam to Jack every few seconds. “Gabriel? Are you coming?”

Sam could see the little gears turning in Gabe’s brain, somehow already knowing what the answer would be. “No. I don’t think so, bro. I think I’m going to stay with Sam and Jack.”

Both Cas and Dean turned wide eyes at the archangel. “What?” 

“Yeah, I second that. ‘What.’”  

Gabriel nodded to Cas, looking quickly at Sam’s face before squaring his shoulders. “I’m staying. Jack needs an angel he can draw information from so who better than his favourite uncle?” His tone was playful, but Sam knew he was serious from his eyes. “Plus, Sam’s gonna need someone to bitch to when a hunt goes wrong, and Sheriff Mills here has a full time job. I mean, so long as it’s cool with you two.” 

Sam nodded, not trusting himself to say anything with all the emotions swirling in himself. Jack rushed to the door, nodding too, far more enthusiastically. “Yeah, it’s cool with us” 

“Great! That settles it: you and Dean go back to the bunker, and handle whatever it is you need handled, and I’m gonna stay with these two and see where the road takes us.” 

Dean grumbled under his breath, but said nothing else as he climbed back into the Impala, gunning the engine as Castiel stood on the grass, confused. He looked between Gabriel and Sam, who were both staring at each other with looks of… not confusion or excitement, but not completely blank either. Calm? But not. Castiel didn’t know what to make of it, so he looked to Jack. He saw how excited the kid was to get to spend more time with his uncle, but he also saw hesitation. Jack didn’t want to be caught in the middle of all this, but he didn’t exactly have a choice in the matter. He was still technically a child, especially in the mental capacity, needing guidance with dealing with emotions and complex decisions. Castiel reluctantly got back into the car, eyeing Gabriel with suspicion, but said nothing more. He knew that Gabriel wouldn’t try anything, not to Jack and Sam, not if he wanted to live. So he said nothing, not then, and not the whole way back to the bunker. Only once commenting on the ride halfway home to point out a place that sold pie in hopes it would calm Dean down a bit.

At Jody’s, Gabe stood awkwardly now that the Impala was out of earshot. Jody sighed and motioned Gabriel inside. “I don’t know if you eat, but we have enough roast beef for one more. Come on, before it starts raining again.” She pushed past Sam and Jack to go sit back down, the girls scrambling to get there before she did in a rushed job to cover up the fact that they had been spying on the whole exchange. 

Gabriel stood there for a second, still unsure until Jack ran out of the house in just his socks to hug the archangel. “I’m glad you’re here,” he muttered. “Sam needs a friend. Jody is kind but I feel like we’re intruding here. He could always use another friend.”

Gabe stiffened for a moment, quickly relaxing into the hug. He wrapped his arms around his nephew, revelling in the warmth of the embrace. “Yeah, me too kid.” His voice cracked but he hoped Sam couldn’t hear him. “It’s gonna be okay, okay? We’ll be okay.” He felt Jack nod against him, looking at Sam over the kid’s shoulder. Pitching his voice higher so Sam could hear him, he repeated, “we’re going to be okay.”

For once, Sam believed him. 


	3. Chapter 3

The hunt was supposed to be easy peasy, lemon squeezy. Shame it ended up being difficult difficult, lime uncompressed. Whatever. Gabriel couldn’t come up with anything better with Sam quickly bleeding out on the floor of the shitty cabin, the pressure he’d been putting on the wound doing little to staunch the bleeding. 

It was supposed to be an easy one and done situation, a single werewolf that Garth had tried to integrate into his community deciding to go against the grain and eat human hearts. Garth said the man was weak, emotionally and physically, and Sam agreed to help him, so long as Jack and Gabriel would come along. And it was, up until the day it wasn’t. 

That morning, they had found the werewolf - Frederick Johnson the 4th - sitting in a pool of his own blood in his grandmother Gertrude’s house, Gertrude Johnson dead at his feet, her heart missing. He’d eaten her heart the night before, and when he’d awoken that morning to see the damage he’d done, he’d killed himself, leaving Sam and Gabriel to clean up the mess. It was gruesome and they had to send Jack back to the motel to avoid the kid needing any more therapy. 

They’d cleaned it up and Garth had been called, and the case was over… or so they’d thought. It wasn’t until they’d built a pyre in the woods, Frederick’s body up in flames that they realized their intel was wrong. Because Frederick wasn’t a lone wolf; he’d made a pack of his own. A pack that went after Sam and torn right through his stomach, missing his spleen by a quarter of an inch, catching Gabriel in the face before the angel could zap them to the gross ranger’s cabin deep in the woods, collapsing onto the dirty floor. 

“Sam. Sam! Wake up!” He’d shouted over and over, sobbing as he ripped his borrowed flannel off, pushing it into the gape in his partner’s stomach. “Fuck! Fucking- my fucking  _ grace _ ! Damn it.” He lay a shaky, bloodied hand on Sam’s chest, willing whatever little grace he had left into the hunter’s body, but he had none. “Fuck!” 

A gunshot rang through the air, stopping his blood cold. Werewolves had no need for shotguns, which meant….

Another shot rang out, followed by fast footfalls and two women barreled into the cabin, the door slamming shut behind them. The shorter, bleach bottle blond of the two turned to view the cabin, eyes stopping on Gabriel.

“Who are…” her gaze fell to the prone body on the ground. “Sam? Sam!” She aimed her riffle at Gabriel, cocking the gun. “What did you do to him?”

“Nothing! We just were burning Frederick’s body and he got slashed up and I-“

“Move!” The darker haired hunter moved the riffle away, slinging her backpack off. “I’ve got to stop this bleeding. You,” she pointed to Gabriel, then the floor. “I’ll need you to assist. Diana, guard the shack, make sure no one finds us.” She rummaged in the bag and pulled out an industrial sized first aid kit the size of a small tackle box.  

Diana grumbled, but obeyed, letting a harsh “ _ yes dear”  _ slip from her lips as she started locking and barrackading the small cabin. “You got enough light, Lynn?”

Gabriel thankfully had the good sense to rummage in the gun locker of the cabin earlier, and though there were no guns, the lantern was a boon as the woman on the floor took hold of several different surgical instruments. “You’re a doctor?”

“Psychiatrist, unfortunate for this situation, but my sister in law is a nurse and Diana did some field medics training in the army, so I can do a bit here and there.”

“Shouldn’t  _ Diana _ do this then? No offence,”

Lynn chuckled dryly. “Maybe, but she wasn’t known in the army for being a good medic.” As if on cue, Diana raised her rifle, aimed the muzzle through the crack in a window, and fired. He heard a body drop to the ground several hundred feet away. “She was the best damn sniper they had ever seen.” 

“Gotcha.”  

She snapped gloves on herself, Gabriel following suit, and the two of them worked in near silence as Diana kept watch of the perimeter. Moving the flannel out of the way, they threw more gauze on the wound than they could spare, Lynn straight up putting her fingers in the wound to look for a bleeder. Sam had regained enough consciousness at that point to thrash on the floor, agony at the feeling of a cold steel clamp closing around a vein. “It’s nicked his large intestine. Hold him down. I’m so sorry Sam, but this is going to hurt like hell.” 

Gabriel situated himself above Sam’s head, holding his chest and shoulders down with the taller man’s head in his lap. Lynn had to resort to sitting on his legs to keep him still enough to stitch up. It was the most heartbreaking display Gabriel could think of, only made worse when he had to stuff a mound of gauze in the hunter’s mouth to keep him from screaming.  **_You can’t die_ ** , he thought.  **_Not again, you can’t die on me. Come on, Sam. Come on. Don’t die on me. Don’t you fucking die on me._ **

She worked as quick as she could, sighing in relief when she realized it wasn’t his bowels that were nicked, but his pancreas. “He can live without it, but he’ll be on insulin for the rest of his life. Stop, Sam,  _ please _ stop moving. I- I can’t do this if you keep -”

“I got it.” Diana grabbed a pair of gloves, pushing the rifle into Lynn’s hands and shooing her away. Grabbing a scalpel and a lighter, she heated the blade, cauterized the small bleeding vessels around the organ, stitching it back together with some silk thread. The stuff they had on hand was hospital grade, probably stolen, but Gabriel didn’t give a shit. He shushed Sam carefully, moving one hand to awkwardly and gently move the hair from the hunter’s face. He didn’t know what else to do, and when Sam finally blacked out from the pain, he finally breathed out a sigh of relief.

“What now?” He asked, Diana wiping her brow with the edge of her sleeve.

She sighed. “Now we pray that it all holds, get him to the hospital, forge some documents and get him into surgery. I haven’t done this extensive work before and I don’t want to have missed anything in this disgusting cabin floor. There’s a VA near here, right?”

“I -” Gabriel scrambled for Sam’s phone. Only one bar left, but enough for him to google the nearest Veterans Affairs hospital about six miles away. “It’s gonna be a hike,” he winced.

Diana nodded. “Guess we make a stretcher with what’s here, and pray it holds.”

Gabriel couldn’t help but laugh at that.  **_Pray. To WHOM, exactly?_ **

Working with what they had on hand - thankfully the owners of the cabin loved their duct tape - they made a stretcher quickly. Diana packed him with whatever gauze was left, taping him with more medical tape then probably necessary. Sam was carefully rolled onto the stretcher, Diana and Gabe carrying him out of the musty cabin, Lynn following close behind with their gear. Lynn hung a mesh bag around each of their necks with jute string. The bags held strong and sweet smelling herbs, no doubt to hide the smell of blood they were covered in. The hike would be long, but Gabriel just kept chanting in his head to keep himself calm. 

**_He’s not going to die, not today, not like this. It’ll be okay, he’ll be okay. It’s going to be okay. He’s not going to die, not today, not like this. It’ll be okay_ **

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

A groan sounded from the bed next to him, Gabriel shooting out of the chair to help Sam up. He shoved several pillows behind his back, propping Sam up on them. 

“Where… where are we?”

“Your friends’ Diana and Lynn’s house. They found us in the woods, in that cabin. Diana stitched you up, when-“ Gabriel let his head fall into his hands. “When I couldn’t.” 

“Hey. No, none of that. Gabe,” he lifted his head, Sam’s hand running through his soft hair. “Neither of us could have predicted any of that. How many were in his pack anyways?”

“Lynn said they took out six, and they found one already dead next to Fred’s remains. The woods are pretty dense though, so there could be more we don’t know about.” 

Sam grunted, wincing as it pulled on his stitches. “Diana sewed me up?”

Gabriel nodded. “Yeah, and she got you into a VA hospital in Bethesda. She lied and said you were her husband so you could get on her insurance. Don’t think Lynn liked that very much.”

“No,” Sam chuckled drily, winching as his stitches pulled again. “No I bet she didn’t. But I had surgery, then?” Gabe nodded. “Then why am I here and not in the hospital?”

Now it was Gabe’s turn to wince. “That was a week ago, Sam. You’ve been out of it most of the time. You don’t remember checking out yesterday?” Sam shook his head, face pinched in confusion. “You seemed pretty coherent, but they also put you on more drugs than I’ve ever seen a human person been on, and I was in Babylon when it was at the height of its glory.”

“Pfft. What’s with you and prostitutes and porn stars?”

He shrugged, readjusting the blankets around Sam. “they always have the best stories.”

Sam groaned allowing Gabriel to baby him. It was nice to be looked aft- “Jack! Where’s Jack?”

“Relax, relax. He’s downstairs watching TV with Lynn. He wanted to heal you but Diana wanted you to be awake for that. He wants to see you whenever you’re ready.”

Sam relaxed against the pillows, letting out a breath. “Yeah, maybe it’s best I’m awake when he sees me. I don’t think I want him to see me like this anyways.”

Gabriel hummed. “Yeah, I get it. But the surgery made you stable until we got him.”

“Yeah. Is he okay? Anything happen- the werewolves didn’t get him, did they?”

“No,” Gabriel said, shaking his head. He moved Sam’s hair from his face, tucking the blankets around the hunter a little more snug before sitting down again. “He was watching something called  _ Adventure Time _ and eating his weight in gummy bears.” He raised a hand to stop Sam from protesting. “I know, I know, I shouldn’t give him so many sweets, but the kid deserved something nice after the shitty cases we’ve been on this month.” 

Gabriel had a point. It’s been five weeks since they’d left the bunker with a bag each - Gabriel having to get new things at the local Walmart since he hadn’t planned on leaving the bunker like that - and they’d taken on three cases in that time frame, each shittier than the last. First was a haunted house full of ghosts who’d been bound to the house with their ashes being mixed into the concrete of the foundation. Took them four cans of gasoline just to get it all going. After the murder house came a nasty ghoul who liked to snack on dead children, and after taking one look at Jack, deciding on taking a taste of the scared Nephilim instead. The kid deserved a break and as many gummy bears as he could stomach. Although…

“We should get something healthy for dinner. Where are Diana and Lynn? I want to ask them if they need help cooking, and-“

Gabriel got out of his chair in a flash, sitting down right on Sam’s legs and trapping his arms against his sides with fast hands. “No. Uh-uh. You’re not leaving this bed for at least another twelve hours, and if you have to pee, the nurse left your catheter in so there’s no excuses.”

“Ew.” 

“Yeah, well, them’s the breaks. And you  _ have  _ to take care of yourself, Sam. My grace is shit right now, and it’s going to take me a long time to get it all back. I can’t keep healing you for every little break and sleep deprivation  _ and  _ heal myself! I can’t pour anything from an empty cup!” 

“That’s a quote from somewhere, isn’t it?”

“Arg! It doesn’t matter! Stop throwing yourself into things before you’re ready!”

Sam grumbled but agreed. “Wait, what do you mean ‘keep healing me?’ Have you been healing me on the sly the past few weeks?”

Gabriel flushed an honest to goodness pink over his cheeks, neck and ears. “Uh… maybe…?” Sam scoffed. “Hey! You and Jack are all I have right now, and we can’t function without you. More importantly, we don’t  _ want  _ to do this without you. Jack needs you healthy and thriving and I can’t- you can’t- I can’t have you die on me again.” A fat tear threatened to spill over as he gasped in a breath. “You- y- you were  _ dead.  _ Those vamps got you, and- an-and your  _ neck- Sam. Your neck  _ was spilling so much  _ blood _ it was-“ he hiccuped. 

Sam’s face contorted in confusion, startled at how much Gabriel seemed to care for him. It was astounding that on his lap sat one of the most fierce, the most powerful, most absolute  _ beings _ in all of earth, heaven, and hell, and was crying  _ over HIM.  _ Over the thought of  _ Sam dead.  _ He whispered quietly, “please let go of my hands” and Gabriel released his hold. Sam wrapped the arms around Gabriel, bringing him down to settle against Sam’s side, cold fingers carding through warm hair. 

“It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be fine, I got ya. We have each other, right?” Sam murmured into Gabe’s hair, the archangel nodding against his shoulder. Warm fingers gripped at Sam’s side, careful of the gauze taped to his wounds. “We have each other, we have Jack, we have backup, too. I think we’ll be okay, and you’re- Hmm. You’re right.”

Gabriel lifted his head in confusion. “I know I am, but about what?”

“I have to take better care of myself. I think I gotta start with therapy.” 

It was quiet in the room, the only sound was their breathing and the ceiling fan slowly turning. Gabriel slowly lifted his head and looked deep into Sam’s eyes. It was weird, how natural it seemed to just stare at one another so intimately, but he pushed those feelings back. It’s not what was important here. Gabriel only nodded, tucking his head back into Sam’s shoulder, one hand trailing up into Sam’s hair to run fingers through the soft strands.

A knock at the door sounded just ten minutes later, Gabriel unwillingly extracting himself from Sam to open it. A very tall woman with a crown of hair atop her head walked in with a first aid kit much like Lynn used, Jack trailing behind her with a bowl of steaming water. 

“Hey Sam. I’m Susan.” 

“Oh! You’re Diana’s sister. Nice to meet- ow!” Sam winced as his stitches pulled as he tried to sit up to shake her hand. 

“Yeah, don’t do that. So I’m gonna check on your wounds, and I thought this would be a good lesson for the Angel folk to learn in case they can’t heal their way. That okay with you?” 

Sam nodded.

“Great! Okay, so we’ll patch you up and then take you to the front porch so Jack can heal you.”

Sam scrunched his eyebrows. “Uh.. am I missing something? Why can’t he heal me right here?” 

It was then that Gabriel showed him a gold band on his right wrist, Jack sporting the same. Enochian and Celtic symbols were carved into the metal as well as a curling leaf design that also looked similar to writing, but none Sam had ever seen before in his life. “They’re magic suppressors.” Gabe explained. “This house is powerfully warded, far more powerful than anything I’ve ever seen, and I’ve  _ been around _ ,” he winked at Susan’s general direction, to which he received an eye roll. “You can’t track it, can’t get in unless you’re human or, have one of these.” He shook the cuff, a slot for a key showing on one side, a hinge parallel to it. “It’s pretty ingenious if you ask me, but don’t tell Diana. I don’t want her getting a big head.”

Susan laughed. “Too late. She’s still freaking out since you told her you’d seen some of her inventions in the bunker.”

“Huh?”

“The men of letters stuff,” Gabe explained. “The British team? Those weapons they gave you? They’re Diana’s. They stole them from her a few years back when the Wilsons were in Ireland hunting a  _ buggane _ . Didn’t know those were still around.”

“Huh. Cool. Wait, where are we?” 

“Virginia.”

He rolled the word around in his mouth, connecting the dots. “You guys are hunting with Claire? Huh. Should have made the connection there.”

Susan checked his wounds in silence, which Gabriel didn’t like, at  _ all.  _ So he decided to make conversation to fill it. “How do you know each other anyways?”

Susan huffed, a short soft sound in the pit of her stomach. “I don’t, not really. Lynn and Diana had a hunt in Arizona a few years back and Sam helped them out. They hunted a few other times together.”

“But not you.” Gabriel noted. “You not a hunter?”

“Oh I am,” Susan gently slathered the angry but clean edges of the wound with some kind of ointment, hands soft on Sam’s belly. “I just don’t have flexibility in my job like Diana and Lynn do.”

Gabe nodded, looking at Jack who was intently paying attention to what Susan was doing. “What do Lynn and Diana do?”

Sam looked at him weird, asking, “what? You didn’t talk their ears off yet?”

“No,” Jack answered, handing Susan a new sheet of gauze. “He’s been mostly quiet. He’s been sitting next to you this whole time.”

Sam looked up at Gabriel in surprise, but the angel didn’t see, staring at Jack in betrayal at how his nephew dare say something so private. “Oh.” 

Susan looked between the three guys and rolled her eyes, taping the gauze in place. “Lynn’s a therapist, her clients are all hunters and monster victims. She usually Skypes with her clients so it doesn’t matter where we are. Diana makes weapons for hunters, and most times she doesn’t need a lot of set up, so long as she can have her toolbox.” Susan brought the attention to herself as she unfurled a blood pressure cuff from the kit. It eased the bit of tension in the room, a welcome distraction. “The men of letters raided our storehouse so we had to move before they got us. She lost so much of her stuff, but luckily Jesse had our backs. He gave us a crap ton of his stuff - which Cesar was  _ more  _ than happy to get rid of, to be honest. That man was practically  _ shoving _ things into our hands. She’s getting more clients now. After the whole bullshit with the leviathans, you can’t be underprepared.”

“Leviathans?” Gabriel asked, confused. “What-?”

“Right. You weren’t -“ Sam sighed. He made a vague motion with the one hand free of the cuff, Susan raising an eyebrow. “Gabriel wasn’t… around for a while.  _ Stuff _ happened.” 

Susan nodded, not like she understood what was going on, but more of acceptance. She motioned for Sam to open his mouth and shone a light down to see. “Yeah, that was a mess. Lynn just started hunting with us then and man… that was a shock and a half for her. Those things were  _ nasty.  _ Found one decomposing about a year ago. It was just a box of goo.  _ Nasty _ .” She shone the light in his eyes and nodded. “You look fine, Sam. No sign of infection from what I can see, and your wound is healing nicely.” She peeled the cuff off him and started packing everything back up with Jack. “Blood pressure’s pretty good too. I’ll get you a book to read cuz you’re staying in bed a while. I don’t want you moving anywhere for awhile. Maybe tomorrow you can head outside and Jack can heal you.”

“I’d rather heal him today, if that’s okay.” Jack was pretty quiet. He stuffed the rest of the supplies back into the first aid kit, barely looking at Sam now. 

Susan carefully placed a hand on his shoulder, bringing his attention to her. “I know Jack, but Sam needs rest. Besides, who else is gonna help me with the chicken for dinner?” 

“So you finally learned how to cook, huh?” Sam joked.  

Susan grimaced at him. “I took a class.” With that, she shook her head and left, Jack lingering behind. 

He carefully sat on the bed next to Sam, hand gently resting on Sam’s. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to -“

“Stop.” He blinked at Sam. “It’s not your fault, Jack. I made the choice to do it without you, and you couldn’t exactly heal me in the hospital and besides, not everything rests on your shoulders.”

Gabriel nodded, guiding Jack up by the elbow to hug the kid tightly. “Stop blaming yourself. You’re not at fault here, and we’re not losing Sam again anytime soon, okay? Just take a breath, and maybe go help Susan with dinner, okay? That’s something in your control. Other people’s actions aren’t.”

Sam had never seen Gabriel actually hug another person like that before - or  _ being _ for that matter - and it was awfully strange how much it comforted him to see Gabe comfort his nephew. He was fiercely protective of the nephilim. It was a fact he showed time and time again whenever they stopped for food - Gabriel making sure Jack ate all his vegetables - and making sure Jack wore clean clothes. Gabriel doing laundry was by and far the weirdest thing he’d ever seen, and Sam had  _ seen things _ . He felt overwhelmed with emotion just thinking of how serious Gabe took the role of uncle, and something warm and heavy settled in his stomach at the thought. 

“Okay,” Jack muttered. “Sorry Sam. Sorry uncle Gabriel. I’ll try to do better. I’m gonna go help with dinner.” He tried to pull away but Gabriel’s grip was firm. “Uh… uncle Gabriel?” 

“Hmm?”

“Could, umm, could you let me go, please?” 

“Huh? Oh!” Gabriel let go of him, awkwardly patting at his shoulder as he moved away. “Sorry, I just -“ 

Jack waved him off, walking out of the room. “It’s okay. I don’t mind. I just want to get down before -“ 

“Jaaaaack!” Susan yelled up the stairs front he bottom of the steps. “Are you coming?” 

He motioned towards her general direction, smiling. “I’ll bring you some when it’s ready. Are you staying up here with Sam?” 

Gabriel nodded, already sitting back down in the chair. “Shut the door on your way out. Thanks Jack” 

Jack smiled, waving them off as he did as asked. Sam looked at Gabriel with indignation, a hand stretched out to reach for the angel’s. “Hey. He’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna be okay;  _ we’re _ gonna be okay.”  

Gabriel nodded, holding Sam’s hand tightly. “I know. I just wish… never mind.” 

“No, what?” 

He sighed, a tired look in his eyes. “I just wish this shit didn’t keep happening. Maybe we could just… hide out here for a bit.” 

“Hmm.” Sam stared at the ceiling for a moment, thinking. “I’ll ask Diana after dinner. I doubt she’ll say no.” 

A knock at the door sounded, Gabe letting go of Sam’s hand as it opened. Sam missed the warmth already. Diana peeked her head in, her hair more blonde than when Sam saw her last. “Hey, heard you were awake. Wanna tell me why you decided to hunt an entire pack without backup?” 

“Hey!” Gabriel piped up. “I’m backup!” 

She rolled her eyes and paid him very little attention. “I meant why no Dean. Gabe said you weren’t speaking? What’s up?” 

“Ugh. He’s just- ugh.” Sam sighed. He didn’t want to talk about it. It was too painful right now, and he was already in a lot of pain, he didn’t need more. “Can we lay low here for a bit?” 

Her eyes bore into his, looking for something. She must have found it, nodding briskly. “Lynn’s already making plans for groceries for the week, and as long as you’re not a slob, you can stay as long as you want. We’ll talk about it later though.” 

“Yeah, okay.” Sam replied as he yawned. He must have slept through the night, but he was still exhausted as all hell

“Just take it easy. I’ll see you later.” She shut the door firmly behind her, leaving them alone again. 

Sam reached back for Gabriel, carefully linking their fingers together. “We’re gonna be okay.” 

Gabriel believed him


	4. Chapter 4

Sam awoke in a cold sweat, the last little tendrils of his nightmare curling away from his memory. Sheets wrapped around his feet, he rolled slowly to the ground to stand and extricate himself from the fabric. His heart raced, the icy fear gripping him tighty, forcing himself to breath deeply to avoid passing out.

“It wasn’t real,” he muttered. “It was just a nightmare. It’s okay, you’re okay, you’re gonna be okay. It’s okay, you’re okay, you’re,” he exhaled slowly, tears stinging the corners of his eyes. “You’re gonna be okay.” He steadying himself enough to stand, legs shaking as he ran fingers through his hair to keep it from falling into his face. “It’s okay, I’m okay, I’m -“ 

A grunt from next door stopped him. A whimper followed and Sam rolled his eyes. Of course Gabe was going to ‘relieve tension’ in someone else’s house. Because of _course_ \- but his train of thought ended abruptly when he heard crying. **_That’s not supposed to happen when you… what’s going on?_** Spurred by curiosity, Sam padded on bare feet to check on Gabriel in the other room. He knocked gently, his watch reading 4:37am. He heard no response, other then more crying, so he knocked again, louder. “Gabriel?”

Opening the door a bit, he saw the lamp on the nightstand still on, faintly glowing. The light illuminated Gabriel’s sweaty face, a book falling to the floor from the bed as he thrashed, tears streaking his face. 

Sam closed the door soundly behind him, rushing to the bed to gently shake his shoulder. “Gabriel, hey, wake up.” He thrashed harder, Sam shook him more firmly. “Gabe, Gabriel, wake up.” 

The archangel shot up like a rocket, pushing Sam away as he pulled himself closer to the headboard of the small bed. “No!” 

“Gabe?” Sam held his hands up in defense, showing he wasn’t a threat. “It’s me. It’s Sam. Gabe, you were having a nightmare. Just a dream. It wasn’t real, I promise. Do you know where you are?” 

Gabriel shook, his whole body a big trembling mess. “Sam. Sam, Sa- Sam?” He turned his face to look at the hunter, shock melting slowly away into understanding. “Sam. You’re Sam. We’re… we’re at the Wilson’s. We’re… where’s Jack?” 

“Asleep. He’s across the hall from you, and he’s safe. We’re safe.  _ You’re safe _ .” 

Gabriel nodded quickly, leaning a bit closer to Sam. “Okay, okay. I just -” tears flowed fast down his face, his hands angrily trying to wipe them away. “It was  _ so bad _ .”

Sam lowered his hands to slowly touch Gabriel’s knee. “It was just a dream -.”

“No!” Gabriel shouted, reeling. He grabbed Sam’s retreating hands with a firm grasp, eyes terrified. Sam knew instantly that it had to have been a flashback. That look was the same one he had when he’d been rescued from Asmodeus. “No it wasn’t. It was-.” 

“Okay. Okay, okay, I understand. But he’s gone, Gabe. He’s  _ dead.  _ Okay?  _ Dead.  _ He can’t hurt you ever again. Okay? You’re not there anymore, you’re here, here and safe. You’ve got me, and Jack, and you’re  _ safe. _ ” After Sam had the wall broken in his mind, when he had hallucinated Satan, it was a constant battle to remember he wasn’t in the cage anymore. He’d been there a year, a long year that seemed like the worst lifetime possible, and Gabriel had been trapped with his abuser for seven time’s that.  _ Seven whole years _ . He must have spent so much of the past few months reminding himself it was over, so many times wanted and needing someone to remind him too. Remind him that he was safe now, that he didn’t have to fear abuse, but never asked for it. He was too proud. And it was taking its toll. He’s been suffering quietly and the heavy weight of that silence finally broke. “Hey, come here,” Sam’s voice was barely a whisper, but he knew Gabe would hear it. 

Letting out a heartbreaking sob, Gabriel did just that, crawling the two feet needed before collapsing half on Sam’s lap. “It was- I couldn’t… couldn’t run. He- he-  _ fuck _ .” 

“Shhh.. it’s okay, you can tell me later. You’re okay. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” 

They sat like that and it took almost an hour before Gabriel’s breathing became steady, Sam’s hand hurting from rubbing at the other’s back. But he didn’t stop. Gabe needed this, and his own heart needed it too. Needed some comfort after his own hell based nightmare. 

Gabriel carefully pulled his head back from Sam’s shoulder, face shy for the first time since… well,  _ ever _ . “Can I - can I maybe- you know what, never mind. Good night.”

“Bullshit. Tell me what you need.”

He shook his head. “No im good.”

“Gabe.”

“No.”

“ _ Gabriel _ .”

“Fine.” He huffed. “Can istaywithyou” 

Sam tilted his head, unsure of what he just heard. “Say again.”

“I said,” he cleared his throat. “Can I stay with you.”

Silence. 

“Never mind. I was just joking. Ha.” His voice fell flat. “Ha ha ha. Ha. Mmm.”

Sam’s features softened as he stood; a hand extended out to meet Gabriel’s. “Come on. My bed’s bigger. Bring your pillow”

Gabe’s smile was tentative and small, but did as Sam asked, holding his hand with the hand not gripping the shit out of his pillow. He was silent as Sam shut off his lamp, letting the taller man drag him to the room next door. He carefully listened to Jack’s room, breathing a sigh of relief at the deep even breaths of his nephew. 

Sam’s room was just as it had been when they’d first arrived over a month ago, save for the small stack of books on the floor by the nightstand. They lay down back to back, the warmth from the other comforting as they fell asleep together. Sam awoke several hours later, being smothered by something warm, his toes just handing off the edge of the bed. He looked up to see his head was pillowed on Gabriel’s sternum, one of the archangel’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, the other cradling Sam’s head. Gabriel’s hair was everywhere, obscuring most of his face save for one eye and a bit of his lips. Sam smiled softly. It’d been far too long since anyone held him like this - mainly cuz  _ no one _ ever held him like this. He was almost always the one holding someone else to his own chest, comforting them. This…  _ thing _ with Gabriel, it scared him. A  _ lot _ . He tried to remind himself that this was probably nothing, that Gabriel did this freely with other people, but that only made him feel worse. He must have been thinking too loud because an eye cracked open to stare down at him. 

“What’s going on in that head of yours, Sam?”

“Nothing, just… this is nice. I-”

Gabe hummed. “I like it too. Haven’t done this in a long time.”

“Mmm. How long exactly?”

Gabriel opened his other eye, letting go of Sam’s head to move the hair from his own face. “I don’t know, exactly. Time in hell moves differently, so my inner clock’s all messed up.” He smiled gently at Sam. Gently kissing him on the top of the head, he whispered, “it’s still early. We can sleep another hour.”

“Or…?”

“Or? You got a suggestion?”

“Nope. No, just… sounded like you were gonna say ‘or’.”

Gabriel looked at him weird, not bad weird, but… if Sam didn’t know him any better, he’d think the look was that of affection. “Or, we could… talk.”

“About?”

“About why your heart’s beating a million miles a minute. Kiddo, what’s wrong? You have another nightmare?”

Sam shook his head, turning so more of his body was on top of Gabe’s, squishing him into the bed. He could take Sam’s weight, and by the look on his face, Gabriel liked it. “Just… thinking.”

“About?”

“You.”

That tore a startled chuckle from the archangel’s throat. “Me? Only good things I hope. “ Sam nodded. “Oh? Well, about how good looking I am? Or maybe how amazing I could be in bed?’

“Tsk, Gabe.” Sam rolled his eyes, unamused. 

“Or… about how nice it is in this bed with me, and you never want to leave?”

Silence permeated the air around them, settling into their bones. 

“Yeah.” Sam’s voice was soft and small, saying it into Gabriel’s chest more than the air.

Gabriel hummed. His arms wrapped back around Sam again, but not before a sheet went over both of their heads. Sam looked up confused. “Blanket fort,” Gabe simply stated. “Anything that’s said or done in the blanket fort stays in the blanket fort. So come on kid, tell me wha-”

“I like you.” He clasped a hand quickly onto his mouth, startled that she said that. “I… I like you, as, as-  _ fuck _ , I don’t know. I just… I like this. I like.. Us.”

“Me too.” Gabriel’s breath came quickly now, both of them staring into each other’s eyes. Sam was startled to find tears in his partner’s eyes. “A lot.” 

That was all Sam needed to hear before lifting himself up to crawl the remaining few inches and plant a very soft kiss on Gabriel’s forehead. “I like the blanket fort.”

“Mmm.. me too. Lower.” Sam smiled, kissing Gabriels eyelid next. “Lower.” The nose and his cheeks got some love next, and when he asked “lower” again, Sam kissed him soundly on the mouth. It was just the right amount of pressure, the right slide and slip of tongue. Sam didn’t even mind the drag of stubble from the other’s chin, in fact, he kinda really liked it. When they broke for air, Gabriel whispered deeply, “Lower”. Sam couldn’t stop laughing. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don't even know anymore, here have Gabe holding a baby

Hunting with Lynn and Diana was something Sam hadn’t done in a while, and so he’d forgotten just how damn bossy Diana was. Well, more  _ opinionated _ than bossy.  _ Dean  _ was bossy. Diana was just a boss.  _ The  _ Boss, actually. The arsenal in the Wilson’s basement was meticulously kept, the hidden panels giving way to rows and rows of polished and well kept guns, knives, swords and everything in between. The crossbow collection alone was a thing of beauty. 

“Okay, we’ll need a bunch of silver, and those arrows are all pure silver.” Diana read off her clipboard, pulling arrows off the wall to hand to Gabriel as he packed. The steel covered foam case was a Wilson original too, very stylish with it’s copper insignia on the lid. “And… Lynn. You want your throwing stars?” 

Lynn pulled the last of the laundry from the dryer on the other side of the basement, Sam helping her fold and pack their clothes away. “Hmm. Uh, yeah, I guess.” 

“You use throwing stars?” Gabe cocked his head to the side, Sam stifling a laugh at how much he resembled Castiel. 

“Oh yeah. They make her feel like a badass.”

“Diana,” Lynn chastised. “I  _ am  _ a badass.”

Diana chuckled. “Pfft. Don’t you know it! Okay, now, Sam, you using your gun?” 

Sam mulled it over as he balled up the socks. The newspapers and intel from the local PD suggested multiple monsters which meant they’d need to be fast, but their hunting grounds were near a lot of schools, and he didn’t really want to bring a gun in that environment. The self loading crossbows Diana made were almost as fast, and three times as quiet, so he figured they’d have to do. “Nah. It’s gonna be a lot of kids around. Best to stick with the crossbow.” Diana nodded, pulling a regular one from the wall before Sam stopped her. “Actually, you have any more of the self reloading minis?” 

“Yeah, but they’ll cost you.” 

“I’ll get you the grace extractor egg as a trade.”

Diana and Gabriel froze, slowly turning in unison to stare at him. Sam mentally kicked himself for suggesting anything revolving around grace extraction around Gabriel, but he wasn’t sure why the hell Diana’s face was twisted in confusion. “- what?” 

Sam rubbed at his face, socks forgotten as three pairs of eyes bore into him. “The Brits gave it to us. It’s gold, with Enochian carved into it, and-“

“And you can twist it? Right?”

Sam looked at Diana’s shocked expression, trying to gauge her reaction. “Uh, Yeah. You’ve seen it?” 

She tsked her tongue, pulling her phone out and clicking it a few times until she pulled up a photo to show him. “This it?” 

He glanced at the photo before nodding. “Yeah, why? You not want it?” 

The silence in the basement was only interrupted by the sound of the tv turning on upstairs, Susan and Jack no doubt settling into the couch to catch up on some cartoons. Sam found out quickly that Susan and Jack had many of the same pop culture interests. It was a bit unnerving having them quote lines at each other during meals, but it was nice how they were bonding. Diana blinked at him three whole times before bursting into gut wrenching laughter. “Uh… Diana?” 

She shook, holding onto Gabriel’s forearm as he looked on in confusion. Sam turned to gauge Lynn’s reaction, but she just shook her head as she leaned down to pull out another shirt from the dryer. “Oh, oh my- holy  _ shit! _ ” She wiped at the tears streaming down her face, breath coming unevenly. “That-  _ woah!  _ It’s not supposed to do  _ that! _ ” 

“What?” 

“It’s not?” 

Sam and Gabe asked, speaking over one another.  

She shook her head, calming down a touch. “No, oh GOD,  _ no.  _ It’s- did you use it?” 

“Uh, Yeah.” Sam flinched. He didn’t want Gabe knowing that, but he wasn’t going to lie either. “Yeah, we pulled Lucifer out of one of his vessels.”

“What?!” She stopped dead where she stood, face open and slack with shock. “No…”

“Uh, Yeah. Why? Is it one of yours?” She nodded dumbly. “Oh. Cool. What Uh… what’s it supposed to do?” 

“It- fuck. It’s not supposed to do  _ that _ . It’s supposed to be like a bannishing bomb for angels and demons. Shit.  _ Shit.  _ Guess I read the Enochian wrong.” 

“Maybe Zar messed up with the book when he was writing it out for us.” Lynn supplied, dumping Susan’s wet scrubs from the washer into the now empty dryer. 

“Zar?” Gabriel asked. “Not… not Balthazar?”

Lynn nodded. “You close with him? Cuz we’ve been trying to pray to him for a few years, and he’s been ignoring us, and-“ 

“He’s dead.” Sam sad flatly. 

“Oh.” Lynn stopped halfway to the dryer, a single sock falling to the floor. 

Diana shook her head. “Dumbass probably got caught up in something stupid. I figured as much though. I told Susan not to sleep with him.” She mumbled the last sentence, turning to add something else to her box. 

“Wait,” Gabriel held onto her wrist mid way to the wall, chuckling softly. “Susan slept with him?” 

Diana nodded, face pinched in disgust. “A few times. Kept walking in on them. He tried to convince us to have a four way with him.”

“Did you do it?”

“Fuck  _ no, _ ” Diana spat. “That’s too far, even for me.” 

Lynn huffed a laugh, speaking barely over a murmur. “Better than fucking a demon.” 

Sam was about to defend himself when Diana whipped around to throw the clipboard at her girlfriend, missing her completely. “That was  _ one time  _ and we agreed to  _ never  _ speak about it again!”

“You slept with a demon?” Gabriel tried holding in his laughter, face turning punk with exertion. 

She pointed a finger in his face, eyes turning dark as she sneered. “In my defense, I didn’t know until after, and it was  _ one time _ , okay?” She turned back to the wall, pulling the mini crossbow Sam had requested down from the wall to pack up, muttering angrily. “She was hot, and I was weak. Leave me alone.” 

Sam was about to ask more questions, but his phone blared for the third time that week, rolling his eyes before looking at the screen. He pressed the ignore button, huffing out a frustrated sigh.  **_There goes my good mood,_ ** he thought bitterly. 

“You know you’re going to have to answer it eventually, right?” Sam startled at Gabe’s soft voice next to his ear, a solid hand on his lower back. He turned to see Gabriel’s concerned expression and shook his head. “Sam…”

“No, I know. I’m just not- “ he huffed, leaning into the hand. He felt guilty for seeking the comfort, but he took it anyways. He needed it. “I’m not ready to forgive, not yet.”

Gabriel just nodded, rubbing his back for a moment before dropping his hand and moving to continue packing. 

Sam glanced at Diana, unsure of the look she’d given him. Was it contentment? Was she upset? It was so hard to read her sometimes, Sam just got a headache. He’d have to ask her after the hunt. 

 

\-------------------------------

 

Diana Wilson drove a truck. A big truck that was so much taller than her that she needed pneumatic steps to climb in and out of. It screamed  _ Boss Lady _ and was surprisingly fuel efficient. It was her pride and joy, and reminded Sam too much of Dean’s love of the impala for his comfort. But her way of hunting was nothing like Dean.

For one thing, she didn’t dive head first into danger, and her planning was meticulous. A bit anal if anyone asked Lynn, which, no one did. But she made it known anyways. 

“I’m just saying, if we dance around this too long, they’ll get away and we won’t have the chance to catch them again, and -“

“Okay! Okay,” Diana sighed, putting the cap back on her permanent marker. The pungent alcohol smell was a welcome distraction from the musty smell of the motel room they’d gotten. It was a little much, four of them in one room, but the town they were in didn’t have many in their tiny building they deemed a motel. She worried the bottom of the marker with her teeth in thought. “Maybe we could just, I don’t know, shake everyone’s hand and see who burns. We still have those silver rings, yeah?” 

Lynn nodded. “Yeah, we do. But that’s a lot of hands to shake.” 

Diana grunted in response. The map they’d been working with was littered in black, red, and purple permanent marker, tracking the shifter’s journey through the towns until this one. The pattern was too erratic, unplanned and all over the place. There was no rhyme or reason to it and it was infuriating to track. At first, they thought the schools were where they’d find it, since many of the signs pointed to a teacher, but looking closer, nothing made sense.

“Gabe,” Sam nudged his… Gabe with his foot to get his attention, tired eyes meeting his own. “Can you sense them?” 

Gabe shook his head. “No. As far as I can tell, no one’s a shifter and yet  _ everyone _ is a shifter in the po-dunct town.” He blew out a breath, rubbing his hands against his calves. His cross legged position in the couch couldn’t have been comfortable with Sam’s giant legs taking up most of the couch, but he insisted on sitting like that. Said it helped him think. “Maybe it’s not a shifter at all.”

Diana looked away, staring at the ugly deer painting on the wall in thought. “You… oh!” She pulled out a pencil and started connecting the dots, her brain churning with something, not saying anything. Satisfied, she stood to pin the map up. Yanking the red yarn from her bag, she started connecting the various pins on the wall holding up clippings and photographs to the locations on the map. 

“Uh… Di?” 

“Shh!” She shushed Sam, working quickly. 

“Well, shiitake mushrooms.” Gabe scrambled off the couch, basically climbing over Sam’s legs to see the connections she made. The wall looked like the world’s most complicated game of Clue, but Gabe clearly saw through the haze of… stuff to see what Diana saw. “It’s a shifter, but not a shifter.” 

Sam and Lynn exchanged twin looks of confusion. He stood, trying to get closer to see whatever they did. Lynn just stood crossing her arms, eyes flitting from point to point. 

Diana punched the air several times in excitement, turning and picking up an honest to goodness laser pointer and started her ‘ _ presentation _ ’. “Okay, so, at the first town, there was shifter skin, right? But the skin had already started drying and crusting over, so it meant it’s been there awhile, right? Except the security footage at the pawn shop showed only a small amount of time missing from its tapes, just an hour and a half. No skin at 11:30, and then skin at 1:03, so it was ‘fresh’. Then, at the high school, same thing. Again and again and again, shifter skin, too dry to be freshly shed, too little time to have been just sitting there waiting to dry.”

“You…” Lynn uncrossed her arms, huffing a laugh. “Someone’s  _ planting  _ the skins!” 

Diana pointed at Lynn in triumph before going back to the photo at the latest crime scene. “Except this one from yesterday. This one was fresh. But also, I had them cross examine the flesh from the previous seven crime scenes, and while those were from the same host; this one isn’t.”

“So what are you saying?” 

“What she’s saying, Sammy,” Gabe ignored Sam’s look to keep talking. “Is that there’s someone or something planting a trail of evidence on a shifter using other shifter skin. They’re literally baiting us into killing this shifter from the last scene. This is a frame job.” 

Sam strode quickly, looking over Gabriel’s head at the photos, the reports, the map, and it all clicked. “Of course,” he breathed. “It makes sense. But why frame them?” 

Diana shrugged. “Maybe it’s a fellow monster who got spurned? Didn’t you say you hunted a shifter who was trying to get back his shifter girlfriend?”

“Yeah, but this is… this is extensive. This took a lot of planning. And if it were a shifter planting these,” swiping his laptop off the table, he clicked open the program Charlie had downloaded for him. “These skins would be fresh. It’s gotta be something else. What hangs with shifters?”

Gabe leaned over to see the screen, using the mouse to click on a few things to cross them out. “Not a wendigo, not enough mental capacity. Could be a vamp, maybe werewolf, possibly a fairy, Hmm.” He leaned his body on Sam’s side, a jolt of comfort hitting Sam’s heart like a freight train. It was always nice to be close like this. “Oh… do you think… maybe a demon?” 

“Did you sense any demons?” 

He sucked his teeth in annoyance. “No. And no sulphur at the scenes, so…” 

Lynn laughed. It stopped everyone in their tracks, shocked at her outburst. Lynn was a serious woman, very rarely laughing so openly and loudly. She continued to laugh, tears streaming down her face as she doubled over. 

“Uh… sweetie, you Uh, you okay?” Diana moved to catch her, but Lynn had fallen into the nearest bed, clutching her stomach. “Babe?”

“It’s, holy  _ shit! _ ” Lynn blew out a breath, trying to calm down enough to breathe. “It’s a  _ hunter _ . A vendetta. Look, here.” She made a grabby hand toward Diana, her girlfriend giving up her laser pointer. She clicked it to point at the first crime scene photo. A small scrap of drab green fabric had been ripped off something, tagged and bagged as evidence. “That fabric - it looks a lot like a hunter’s jacket. You have one just like it, Sam. And here,” she highlighted something else, a broken piece of leather. “That from the handle of a knife strap. I know cuz Diana, you use that  _ exact leather _ on the knives you make. This is a hunter and he’s doing this to fool us and into getting revenge on whomever this shifter is. He’s trying to get us to kill them for him.”

The room fell silent. No one said anything as the theory filled the cracks in their case, the gears in their heads churning. The heat kicked on, rattling in the room deafening in the silence. 

“Well, fuck.” 

Everyone turned to Gabriel, shocked to hear such profanity from an archangel. Sam reached around to hold onto Gabriel’s shoulder opposite him, arm resting in his shoulders. “How do you all want to go about this.”

“Well,” Diana yanked at her short hair, pulling it into a tight bun. “I guess we throw bait right back.”

 

—————

  
  


**_What a mess,_ ** Gabe thought.  **_Stupid psycho hunter trying to kill an innocent family for his own sick pleasure. Stupid revenge seeking bastard._ **

Lynn was right to assume it was a hunter, but just how planned it had all been was something no one had been able to guess. The messed up man - Bradley - had fallen for the shifter woman Andrea a few years back, but had rebuffed him for a shifter she was in love with and engaged to at the time. When Bradley heard she’d married him and they’d started a family, Brad had kidnapped the poor guy and started leaving his shed skins everywhere to lure another hunter to finish off the family for him. It was sick and twisted and in the end, once Bradley had been knocked out and deposited in the trunk of the Wilson’s truck, Andrea could finally breathe. 

“I just… I still can’t believe he’d do this to us…” Andrea sobbed on her front porch, arm in a sling as she cried into Lynn’s shoulder. “I mean, I can believe what he did to Howard, but to our  _ kids _ ? Sofie’s arm is broken and Lucy will have nightmares for the rest of her life.”

Lynn pulled out tissues from her jacket pocket, wiping Andrea’s tears away from her and gently rubbing at her back. “I know this is an awful thing, and it’s going to take a long time to get over, but we’ve found Howard’s killer. You and your family are all resilient as hell, and at least your shoulder was only dislocated. You’ll be able to still work with the catering company after a full round of physical therapy. And baby George is okay, see?” Andrea turned her head to look at Gabriel sitting on the porch swing and feeding the month old his bottle gently.

Gabriel had to say, even though the hunt had been a total mess - Sam hit in the leg so hard he’s almost broken his femur, Diana’s fingers slammed into the car door, Andrea’s arm almost completely ripped free of it’s socket, not to mention the damage on the poor kids, and the inside of their house - it was so calming to hold the little baby and just imagine the week had gone differently. It was almost as if he just swung here, holding baby George and feeding the bottle to the sleepy baby who blinked big tired eyes at him, that the whole world would be okay. He knew it wasn’t like that, never could be, but it was still nice. 

The rumble of the truck pulling into the driveway got their attention up, Sam sliding out of the driver’s seat before opening the door for Diana. Sam stopped in his steps to the others at the sight of Gabriel feeding a baby and just stared. 

“So it’s just three broken fingers, the middle one is just bruised, so that’s good,” Diana assured them as she moved forward to hand Andrea a small paper bag. “Don’t ever have to worry about him ever again. And if you ever run into trouble with any other hunters, you give us a call, okay?”

Andrea hesitated before taking the bag. “Th-thanks. You know, you guys are okay. For hunters, that is.”

Diana chuckled dryly. “Yeah, we’re trying to turn over a new leaf. Trying to hold people accountable for their own actions instead of diving in on what we see is moral and what isn’t.” She motioned to the bag in Andrea’s hands. “There should be enough pain killers for you and Sofia for the week, and I got you some fiber supplements too cuz those meds are no joke on your immune system. Also, thought you’d like something sweet, so..” she turned to Sam expectancy, but the giant dork was still staring at Gabriel and baby George. “Sam. _Sam_!"

“Huh? Oh! Sorry, right,” Sam apologised quickly, limping to grab the two shopping bags from the back passenger’s seat. “Diana insisted we get some groceries so we have some frozen dinners, and some cake for you and the kids.” He handed them to Lynn who gladly took them inside, the only one of them not injured. “Figured you’d need them for tonight’s dinner.”

Andrea didn’t know what to say, overwhelmed by emotion that she just hugged them each awkwardly with one arm, first Sam, then Diana. 

Gabriel eventually had to give baby George back to his mother, but not before giving the baby a tiny kiss on his soft brown forehead. Once they were all packed and in the truck again, Sam kept catching Gabriel’s eye in the side mirror, smiling softly at him from the front passenger’s seat as Diana complained from the back at every turn Lynn made. 

 

\-------

 

Not two minutes after Sam had laid in bed, his leg painfully spasmed as Gabriel curled around him. “Agh! My leg hurts.”

“Oh!” Gabriel reached down to grip the meat of Sam’s thigh just above his knee and massage it one handed. “Here?”

“No,” Sam gritted through clenched teeth, “A bit higher.” Gabe reached higher and massaged down towards the knee. “No, a bit higher.” Higher still did his hand go. “A  _ little bit _ higher,” Sam smirked with a dark look. 

Gabriel moved his hand just a bit higher before realizing what Sam was attempting to get him to do. He scoffed. “Nice try big boy.”

Sam’s smirk only grew bigger as he rolled them over, trapping Gabriel between his body and the mattress. “Oh, I assure you, I’m quite a big boy everywhere.”

Gabriel giggled, an honest to goodness giggle as Sam’s lips sucked the beginnings of a hickey on his neck. “You’re ridiculous, Winchester.”

“You know it babe.” He froze.  **_Oh fuck no. I did NOT just -_ **

“Babe, huh? Hmmm.. I like it. Wait, why’d you stop?”

Sam stared at Gabriel with something between fear and hope. “I uh… nothing, just… you were cute with that baby.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Gabriel gently pressed his forehead to Sam’s, breathing in the unique smell that was his human’s. “Sorry I can’t give you one of our own, if that’s what you’re implying.”

“It’s not, it’s just-”

“Are we moving too fast?”

Gabriel’s voice was too high pitched, too scared for Sam’s liking They weren’t moving fast, they were making up for lost time. They’d been at the wilson’s for two months, sleeping in the same bed for one. He’d already been renting a house with Amelia after being together eight and he and Gabe knew each other for twelve  _ years. _ He was confident in what they had - whatever it was - as he shook his head and pulled away to kiss at Gabe’s forehead. “No, we’re fine. We’re okay, Gabe. I think we’re pretty dang okay.”

Gabriel hummed as he curled around Sam once more, rudding a hand up and down his back. “Just okay? I thought maybe we were good, maybe even great.”

“We’d be great if you’d remember to do laundry properly.”

“Pfft! I know how to do laundry!”

“You  _ never _ use the fabric softener!”

Gabriel pulled away to snap the lights on and look at Sam in abject horror. “Sam, you don’t  _ need _ fabric softener! It destroys the structure of the fibres and makes them wear out faster! I told you, I’d only use it on the scratchy stuff, and Jack’s socks.”

Sam whined in annoyance. “But I like having my flannels soft!” 

They argued for an immeasurable amount of time, Diana walking by them and chuckling as she overheard Gabriel refer to the washing machine and dryer as the ‘salad spinner of fabric’ and ‘the oven where you bake socks’.

Susan tilted her head as she peaked her head out into the hallway to see what the fuss was about. “Uh, are they okay?”

“Oh yeah,” Diana assured her sister. “They’re okay.” She looked at the closed door of their room, a soft familiar feeling settling into her stomach. “They’ll be just fine.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Mary have a heart to heart and finally talk about how much of an ass Dean is. They end up going to the farmers market with Jack and Gabriel, and Sam runs into the face of someone he thought he’d never see again.

For the fourth time that week, Sam’s phone blared loudly. He rubbed at his eyes as he saw his mother’s name light up the screen. He contemplated on hitting ignore when Gabriel roused in the bed next to him, shuffling closer for warmth.

“Just pick it up. She’s not gonna stop calling until you answer.”

With a sigh, he rolled his eyes and picked up the phone. “H‘Lo?”

“Sam,” his mother’s concerned voice rang on the other side, an edge of authority to it that Sam wasn’t ready to deal with this early in the morning. “It’s time to come home.”

“Mom-“

“No, Sam. Now.” She sounded tired and frustrated, annoyed at having to deal with her sons acting like children.

He couldn’t stand it, so he sat upright and put his foot down like he should have years ago. “I said no, mom.”

“You listen to me, Samuel Winchester, I- “

“No, mom,” he sneered, getting the attention of Gabriel who moved to sit up slowly. “You listen to me. Dean’s been pushing me around, treating me like I don’t know diddly from squat for far too long, and he expects me to follow him to the ends of the earth just cuz we’re family, and yeah, he’s my brother and I’d do just about anything for him, but,” he took in a shaky breath. He wasn’t expecting to get this worked up about it, but he had enough. Enough with Dean’s self sacrificing bullshit, enough with him treating Sam like a dumb little kid who doesn’t know up from down. He wasn’t a little kid anymore, he was a grown ass man, and so was Dean. It was time that his older brother saw them on equal footing, even if Sam had to kick him into admitting it. “But I won’t come back home until he changes. I won’t subject myself to his narcissistic need to belittle everyone around him until he gets what he wants.” He took a gasping breath in, trying hard to use the words Lynn taught him.

Gabriel shifted in bed to lay his head on Sam’s shoulder, arms wrapping around his middle in a warm side hug. Sam breathed out through his nose slowly, trying desperately to calm down.

A sigh of defeat greeted him on the other line, Mary knowing full well that he was right. “Okay. Okay, I know, Sam. I know what he said hurt you-“

“You have no idea. Did he tell you what he said?”

A pause. “Yes.”

“Did he tell you what he did?” Sam rushed through, not even waiting for her answer. “Did he tell you how he tricked me into saying ‘yes’ to an angel possession? Did he tell you about how he tried to kill me when he was a demon? Or how he told me that dad made him promise to kill me if I ever got outta line? Did he?” Gabriel started rubbing his back, big warm comforting circles. “Or how about the time he befriended a vampire and trusted him more than he trusted me? How I thought he was dead for a year and I tried moving on, tried to live a normal life and he blamed me for not looking for him, for Cas, and made me feel awful for even going so far as trying to be happy without him for once in my friggin life since Jess died? About how he’s consistently expecting my forgiveness for his transgressions but I’m not allowed it unless I earn it? Did he, mom? Huh?”

It was so silent on the other line that he thought maybe she’d hung up. Gabriel’s other hand came up to hold his cheek. His thumb rubbed to wipe away the tears that collected there, tears he didn’t know he was crying. He looked at his short companion, and melted at the concerned look on his face. Gabriel gives a shit, he thought. More than mom does, it seems.

Then, there was the sound of glass shattering, maybe a drinking glass being thrown at a brick wall. Then another. And another. “Mom?” Another glass broke. “Mom!”

Silence. Then, “he.. he didn’t. He just told me what he said on the day you left. He made it seem…” she cursed loudly and another glass was hurtled at the wall. There was the gruff voice of a man in the room, probably Bobby trying to calm her down. “I’m okay, I’m okay, just… angry. I’m fine. Sam, hold on.” The phone was muffled by the fabric of her shirt as she moved. He heard her say something to Bobby, then her walking away. “I’m going to my room, hang on.” He heard more footsteps, then the click of a door. “Okay, tell me everything. All of it.”

“Mom, I - “

“No, Sam. I’m serious. Everything. From the angel possession.”

Sam flinched. “There… was more before that.”

“I’ve got time.”

He looked at Gabriel, seeing what he’d say, but Gabriel was pulling away. He looked up at Gabe with confusion, but the angel just slipped on his slippers before leaning in to leave a gentle kiss on his forehead. “I’ll go make some coffee. Want some muffins for breakfast?” Sam nodded slowly. “Okay. I’ll give you two some privacy.” And he left.

Sam blew a slow breath out, feeling calmer and safe. “I told you how Jessica died, right?”

“Yeah, I remember.” His mother’s voice was soft and full of concern. “I’m listening.”

So he told her. Told her everything: told her of him and Dean hunting together again, of how John was possessed by a demon and died to save Dean’s life. Told her of everything he and Dean did to one another, for one another, and by the time he’d finished, it was late. Gabriel had been a rock through it all, bringing him food and water, and when he asked the angel to stay, he did. He read some lore books, correcting them with a pen, rubbed at Sam’s back when it got too hard to breathe recalling some stuff, even started braiding Sam’s hair. He told his mother everything he could remember and how he needed air from Dean, from their relationship.

“I’m getting help, mom,” he said towards the end. “I’m in therapy, and I’m taking my meds, uh, antidepressants. I’m… it’s not healthy, the relationship Dean and I have. It can’t keep going like this, I don’t deserve it. We don’t deserve this. But Dean’s too thick headed to admit it and get help. He’d rather suffer and have outbursts every so often than to actually get better. Dean and therapy?” He let out a hollow laugh. “Yeah, right.”

Mary sighed on the other end. “I know, he’s just like my father in that way. Doesn’t believe in therapy or anything that he can’t just stab.” She slurped her tea for a moment, thinking. “I guess I’ll have to drag him there myself then.”

Sam stopped his hand midway through its course through Gabriel’s hair. The archangel lay his head in Sam’s lap as he read on his phone, Sam’s fingers combing through the strands. Gabe turned around to look at him, wondering why he’d stopped. “What? What is it?”

“You-“ he shifted on the bed. “You’ll what?”

“Drag him myself, if necessary. You’re right. It’s unhealthy and he needs to make an effort to change or else… or else he won’t have a chance at a good relationship with you. He’s bone headed, you’re right, and I’m your mother and his, and it’s my job to make sure my boys grow up to be healthy, productive members of society, and I never had a chance to do that.”

“Mom…”

“But I have a chance to do something now. You’re hurting and I can help with that. So let me help you. I’ll talk to him and I won’t pester you with coming home again, okay? Just… can I see you? Both of you? I miss you and Jack.”

Sam huffed a small and happy laugh, it spilling over like a flurry of petals off a cherry blossom tree in the spring. “Not Gabriel?”

He could almost hear the shrug on the other end. “Meh.”

Gabriel snorted, rolling his eyes. “I feel _so_ _loved_ right now.”

The two Winchester’s laughed at him, not with malice, but in jest. They agreed to meet on the Saturday at a farmers’ market in Grand Rapids. It was halfway between the two of them, and Gabriel agreed to come along to make the trip more interesting.

 

————-

 

After settling in the motel the night before, Sam sent Gabriel to scour the town for the best restaurant for dinner. Jack hasn’t any experience being inside a restaurant with more than two and a half stars, and Sam thought they’d earned a nice place to eat for once. Gabriel was delighted, picking the nicest place there, and snapping them up something snazzy to wear. Sam was impressed, to be honest, at how much Gabe paid attention to current fashion trends, and was more than happy to be wearing a dark blue suit that actually fit, rather than the same old FBI duds he was used to. It also didn’t hurt at how hot Gabriel was in a well fitted two piece suit, either.

Dinner was followed by a walk through the Heritage Hill Historic District with ice cream. Jack, with some goading from Gabriel and eye rolling from Sam, got three scoops of cotton candy which dropped all down his hand by the end of the night, ruining his new-ish white loafers. But he didn’t seem to mind much as he walked ahead of the two men holding hands, his uncle telling them of the historical references of the buildings around them as they passed.

Mary arrived sometime later, knocking at their motel room door at about 11:56 pm, tired and frustrated at the small catastrophe the traffic had caused for her schedule. There had been two accidents she’d passed on the way up, her cell phone charger shorting in the car, and her need to stop in a gas station to buy a new one, leading to her being the victim of an attempted mugging, dodging the cops, and running into a farming family whose fence had been damaged in a storm the night before, their entire flock of sheep escaping onto the main road.

“It was chaos!” She exclaimed, sitting on Sam’s bed and taking off her shoes. Sam and Gabriel shared a look, wondering just how much damage she’d inflicted on said mugger. “It’s a damn good thing he had no idea how to use a knife, and managed to get it out of him before he stabbed himself with it.” She shook her head. “Anyways, that means I got here too late and there aren’t any rooms left. Mind if I stay here? Sam and I can share a bed and Jack can sleep on Gabe’s bed.”

Sam’s eyebrows went up, conflicted. Does she think Jack and I were gonna share? Does she not know Gabriel and are are together? What the hell? I should say something, now. Riiiight now. But Sam couldn’t. He couldn’t open his mouth to tell her, to remind her that he was an adult - a consenting and capable one - and he could be in a relationship with whomever he chooses. But he couldn’t find the strength to.

Thankfully Gabe jumped right in. “Sure thing Mama W, I’ll just go to the front desk and ask for some more pillows. Did you eat?” Sam breathed a sigh of relief, cracking his neck from side to side to relieve the building tension in his head.

Mary shrugged, taking off her jacket and picking up her duffle. “Yeah, a few hours ago. I could use a snack, though. Jack,” she turned to her… what are they to each other? Sam thought. My head hurts with all this… damnit Sam. Get yourself shit together. You’re making this too hard on yourself. “Do you wanna come with me and get something fried?”

Jack looked to Sam who nodded his permission and stood from the small chair in the room, nodding himself. “That’d be great, Mary. I saw a cool donut shop on our way in.”

And with that, Jack and Mary left for the promise of sweet fried treats, Gabriel calling the front desk to bring them extra pillows. “What’s wrong, Samburger?”

Sam grinned at the stupid nickname, looking at the floor between his feet from where he sat on the bed. “It’s just… I thought she knew. About us, I mean. I know it’s new and all, but… I don’t know.”

“You think she won’t accept you?” He asked.

Sam shook his head, pulling his hands to his lap to look at them, the phantom of Gabriel’s touch still there from their earlier walk. “No, just… she’s never seen me in a relationship before and she beats herself up about it, and I don’t want that to happen again this weekend, and -“

Gabriel cut him off by gentle fingers on his wrists, pulling his hands out of his lap. Sam looked up to see Gabriel’s soft smile  caressing his face, the angel bringing up the hunter’s calloused hands to kiss. “Okay. Then you can tell her whenever you’re ready. No rush. And… we have some time now until the front desk brings us pillows - Daleena said they’re in the dryer right now - and our roomies coming back from donuts. How about I… make it worth your while?” He slid into Sam’s lap, causing Sam to chuckle and slide his hands around to grip at Gabriel’s ass. “Oh! Mr. Winchester! My, my, what big hands you have!”

Sam laughed, kissing Gabriel stupid and scratching up and down his back for as long as they could manage until Mary and Jack came in. It was exactly what Sam needed, save for the lack of Gabriel in his arms before he drifted off to sleep.

 

—————

 

Thearlet was a good size with both indoor and outdoor booths, Jack damn near vibrating with excitement of the thought of hitting them all at once. They walked together for the first half hour or so, browsing around as they thought of what they’d like to try and what they wanted to purchase to take home. Jack, seeing a young girl eating a bag of kettle corn as tall as she was, hustled to the southern most part of the market to get a bag of his own. Mary followed him, and Gabriel and Sam deckses to browse on their own for an hour before meeting up for lunch.

Sam wondered if Gabriel intended to buy things he knew Sam wouldn’t approve of, or if he just needed space. Gabriel got overwhelmed with crowds still, flashbacks becoming commonplace whenever there were more than 20 people in the room at once. He was okay the night before, but a market often has a whole lot more people around than restaurants do. So he just squeezed his hand and let him wander about as Sam looked around for any cool things he could buy for the Wilsons.

They’d been so generous letting them crash for all these months, and Sam wanted to do something nice to thank them. He thought about getting three small gifts for each of them, and one big thing they could use together. He was debating on whether it would be practical or a purely decorative one as he stood in front of a yarn booth - Diana likes to crochet, even if she was terrible at it - when he sensed someone standing behind him.

“Sam?”

Sam turned around slowly, fear in his heart. He hadn’t heard her voice in years and to hear it here? 1400 miles away? He turned and looked down to look right into her brown eyes. “Amelia. Uh, hi.”

She looked good. Her hair was shorter, but still as curly as ever. Her bright red dress had a little mustard stain, probably from the pretzel in her hand.

They stood there, staring at one another.

“There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Gabriel grabbed his hand, shaking it gently to get Sam’s attention. “Jack and your mom found this really cool booth with all… these… Uh? Sam?”

Sam looked down at him, watching Gabe’s eyes track between him and Amelia. “Uh… yeah. Sorry. Um, Gabe, Uh, this is Amelia. Amelia this is my- Uh, this is my, um…” They hadn’t had this discussion yet. They hadn’t talked about what they were to one another. Hadn’t even had sex yet for fucks sake, just a lot of make outs and… dates. They went on a lot of dates for two people who hadn’t yet defined who they were. “My Gabe.” He decided for simple, and the truth. “This is my Gabe.”

If Gabriel’s smile was ever like a light, right then it would have blotted out the sun with its brightness. He turned to Amelia to extend the hand not attached to Sam to shake hers. She took it immediately. “Nice to meet you, Amelia. Sam’s said great things about you.”

She looked a little lost, but managed to put a polite smile on her face. “Nice to meet you too, Gabe. Uh, did he just say your mom? I thought she-“

“Oh yeah, we all did.” Gabe barrelled ahead, thankfully he could twist the truth just enough to work for them without lying too much. “Turns out that Sweden has an amazing neurology program and they’ve been able to have moderate success in reversing brain death. Well, not brain death per say but rather the damage of patients near brain death.” He moved his hand in an aborted motion once she’d dropped it. “It’s a like a miracle, almost. She’s had some trouble adjusting and she’s not at 100%, but it’s better than nothing.”

“So… the fire?”

“Dad lied.” Sam found it easy to lie to her, despite how much he once loved her. His father did lie a lot. Not about this, but still. “She was in the hospital the whole time. After I left Texas… my brother and I found her. Gabe, he…” he looked at Gabriel for something to latch onto, and he found it in the angel’s eyes. “His aunt brought mom back to life.”

Gabriel scoffed. “Only good thing she ever did, to be honest.”

Sam didn’t know if it was a good enough lie, or if Gabriel had done something to make her believe it more, but it seemed to be enough for her. “So… Jack?”

“Oh, I’m, we’re,” Sam corrected. “We’re kinda… raising him.”

Amelia’s eyebrows shot up into her hairline. “What?”

Gabriel jumped in, giving Sam’s hand a gentle squeeze to relax him. “He’s my degenerate piece of crap brother’s kid. His mom died last year and my brother’s Satan knows where,” Sam had to swallow his spit to keep from laughing at the sly joke. “So I’m keeping him under my wing. Sam, Jack and I are staying with some friends right now, while we figure out something more… permanent.” He looked up at Sam with hope in his eyes. The Wilson’s wasn’t permanent, and they both kind of assumed that they’d eventually go back to the bunker, but…

“Yeah. My mom missed us, so we’re here today.” Sam smiled softly at Gabe, then turned to face Amelia. “She and Jack are bonding well. And they’re.. where?”

“Oh!” Gabriel turned to point behind him a few rows down. “They found a bee keeper and she makes cookies and taffy and stuff from the honey, and candles from the beeswax in every colour imaginable, so your mom’s eyeing the candles and Jack’s eyeing the lollipops there. She also makes that lavender honey you like, so I thought we could buy some and make those scones you like.”

They missed the soft smile Amelia gave them before they looked back to excuse themselves. “It was nice to meet you, Gabe. Good to see you again, Sam. I hope… I hope you’re happy,” she bid them genuinely.

“Yeah, yeah. I am.” He was. It was the first honest thing he’d said to her yet. He really was, and he felt better since they’d left the bunker than he had in years. They took on small hunts, had movie nights, and he and Gabe were good. He felt safe and happy and he was healthy. Taking his meds, having therapy with Lynn twice a week, and eating his weight in fresh veggies from the little garden patch Jack was growing in the backyard. Things were good. “I hope you’re well too. And happy.”

Her smile was genuine as she nodded. “I am. Don and I are going to a wedding tomorrow. That’s why we’re up here. I should go find him, actually. We have to head back to get ready for the rehearsal.”

 

As they said their goodbyes, Sam felt Gabriel pulling the hand he held around his shoulders. Sam looked down to see Gabe smiling like he’d just won the biggest prize at the state fair. “You’re happy, Huh?”

He snorted a laugh. “Yeah, ya dork. I’m happy.”

“Mmm. Me too.” He gently knocked his head against Sam’s shoulder, pulling him down for a quick peck on the lips. No one paid them any attention, but Sam blushed anyways, unused to the public display of affection. “Now, let’s try and stop your mom and my nephew from buying out that entire lady’s stand from under her, Hmm?”

The beekeeper truly has an impressive booth, a small crowd gathered around as her teenage son helped her to serve all their customers. His mom looked up just in time to see them before being next to pay for the crap ton of candles she was holding.

Mary didn’t question why her son’s arm was around the archangel’s shoulder or why Gabe was holding his hand with his own, only asking Sam to try the muffin sample the beekeeper sold to see if he’d like it. Jack, of course, couldn’t get enough of the stand and when they finally left, two jars of honey in hand each, they’d made a sizeable divot in her wares.

“I don’t know about you guys,” Mary said, stretching her arms straight up so every one of her joints would pop into place. “But I’m suddenly in the mood for a giant pretzel.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama!

Sam felt utterly content. At peace with the world.

Behind the Wilson’s house stood quite a few trees; not enough to be a forest, but enough to block the sun from the patio stones that had been laid the summer before. Between two of these trees hung a simple hammock. The very same hammock where Sam now lay on his back, Gabriel nestled on his chest, eyes closed, drawing swirling patterns on sam’s chest as the hammock swung gently in the breeze. It was lovely.

He hadn’t been able to relax like this in years, yet something about being in this house, with these particular friends - it changed something. Hunting with them was always a job run smoothly - whenever Lynn, Susan and Diana weren’t arguing, of course - and they’d finished their last three cases days earlier than they thought they would. Jack was safe, they were getting along pretty well, and Sam was able to actually relax. 

“Mmmm,” Gabriel mumbled in his chest, half dozing in and out all afternoon. “You’re thinking too hard again.” 

“Hmm?” Sam looked down, running blunt nails through his lover’s scalp, looking down at his half asleep form. “Just thinking of something nice we could do for Susan. Her birthdays in a few weeks. Was thinking we could offer to clean out the basement and make her a spot to relax there without Diana getting at her.” 

Gabriel propped his chin on Sam’s chest, blinking himself awake. “Like a little reading nook? That would be nice.” He yawned, Sam smiling at the adorable scrunched up face. “I think Diana would be cool with that, but we know how much of a pack rat Lynn is. She might not want us moving her stuff.” 

Sam bit his cheek, humming his agreement. He’d have to figure out how to appeal to Lynn’s more loving nature and get her to go along with it. Most of the stuff in the basement was all holiday decor, old gardening supplies that needed repair, and sports equipment they didn’t even use. But Diana had said that Lynn’s childhood lacked in things kids did, so it was understandable that she’d latch onto keeping whatever she could. “I’m sure I can convince her somehow.”

“Mmm… puppy dog eyes?” 

“What?” 

“Puppy dog eyes. You do this pleading look like a puppy begging for a treat. It’s very effective.” He leaned his face back down to Sam’s chest, kissing his heart over the flannel. 

Sam smirked at the other, hand not in his hair rubbing up and down his back. “Is it? Did it work on you?” 

“ _ Maaaaaybe _ .” 

Sam was about to respond when he heard the unmistakable anger of his brother’s voice from the inside of the house. “No, I wanna know where my brother is,  _ now. _ ”

Gabriel grasped both edges of the hammock, lifting his head and shoulders off Sam to peer into the house via the back screen door. Swiveling back to look at Sam, he warned, “Sam, don’t. He’s not worth it.”

“I have to,” Sam sighed, leaning up carefully to kiss Gabriel softly without throwing them both off kilter and onto the ground. “He’ll just keep coming back here if I don’t.” He tried for a smile, but it was off, and Gabe knew it. Either way, he knew he still didn’t have enough grace to snap them both outta there without puking blood and being in a mini-coma for ten days, so he grumbled and got up anyways. 

Sam had no way of knowing what to expect when he opened the door and walked through the kitchen, but Lynn with her arms crossed and staring daggers at Dean wasn’t it. She radiated a type of rage he’d never seen in her before, leaning on the side of the doorway from kitchen to hallway, unmoving save for her breathing in and out, most definitely hiding a knife somewhere on her from the quick flick of the eyes she gave him before zeroing in on her target once more. He walked faster to the front to avoid bloodshed, thankful that Susan took Jack out for a supply run thirty minutes ago.

“Listen, dude,” Diana’s shoulders were squared up, the military stance not lost on him. “I get you’re worried about your brother, whoever he is, but there’s just my sister, my girlfriend and me, so-”

Sam cut her off with gentle hands on her shoulders. “It’s okay Diana. I got it.” She turned, giving him a look of uncertainty, but his answering warm smile is enough to get her to step aside. “Uh.. hi.”

Dean stared at him from the other side of the brand new screen door Sam had replaced the week prior. Under his eyes the bags were puffy and pronounced, and he’d lost some weight, probably from lack of sleep and food. He was a mess, and Sam felt a wave of guilt over it before the last conversation they had flashed in his mind. “We gotta talk.” Dean moved to open the door to step inside, but Sam wouldn’t let him. 

“Outside’s probably best,” he said simply, gently pushing on Dean’s chest to step back, Sam moving forward and letting the screen slap closed behind him. “How’d you find us?” 

Dean shoved his hands into his jacket pocket. The Wilson’s porch held a couple of mis-matched chairs and a porch swing Susan bought at an antique fair a few years prior. Sam expected him to sit on one of those, but Dean just paced the length of the porch, fuming. “Jack’s phone. You didn’t replace it.” 

“Oh.” Sam of course picked up a new phone as soon as they’d left the bunker, keeping the number but putting a block on his brother so he couldn’t track it, but he didn’t think Dean would track Jack’s phone. He didn’t care as much about the nephilim, but Castiel did, and he probably gave Dean the idea to track him from worry. “Of course you did.” He blew out a hollow laugh. “So you’re here. What do you  _ think _ we have to talk about.” 

That stopped Dean’s pacing immediately. “What?” 

“I said-“

“I know what you said,” he spat back. His anger was reaching higher up on the Winchester ladder of emotions. “What I  _ think _ \- ha! It’s not about what I  _ think _ we have to talk about. It’s what I  _ know  _ we have to -“

Sam extended his hands in exasperation, cutting him off. “So talk! I was kinda busy before you came here, and you’re interrupting.” 

Dean reeled back, annoyance making its home on his face. “Inter- wow. Wow, okay. See that whatever you were doing is more important than your own  _ brother _ , but…”

“When he’s being an  _ ass _ , yeah, kinda.” Sam crossed his arms, ready for whatever Dean was going to throw at him. His brother wanted to fight unfairly, so be it. “So? Talk.” 

Dean scowled, lines on his forehead doubling with each passing year. “You’re being an ass. Just come home already.” 

“Apologize first.” 

“Apologize?” 

“Did I stutter?” They stared at one another, both firm and too stubborn to back down. 

Dean mimicked Sam’s position, rolling his eyes as his arms crossed in front of him. “I’m sorry.” It was hollow and faker than a spray tan on a Barbie doll, and normally, Sam would have just given up the fight and taken it. Would have come home and dropped it, suffering in silence. 

“Yeah,” he leaned on a supporting pillar, acutely aware of the little audience they still had. Brutus climbed up the stairs from where he’d been lounging in the sun on the grass to lay down in front of Sam, a silent protector between him and his older, more stubborn brother. “Somehow I doubt that.” 

Dean stepped forward, dropping his arms and pointing at Sam. “You’re being an ass.”

“Me? Yeah, right.” 

“You  _ are _ .”

“Oh, yeah? How?” 

“You turned  _ mom _ against me!” Dean Hillary’s, face turning red. “Mom. Really?  _ Mom _ ?” 

“Oh that’s bull and you know it. I didn’t turn anyone  _ against you, _ Dean. I told her the truth and she formed her own opinion like the adult she is-“ 

“Oh,  _ sure _ , whatever.”

“No. Not whatever!” Sam stomped his foot, making Brutus growl in annoyance. He didn’t care if it made him look like an overgrown five year old - Dean wasn’t getting it. “You’re such a narcissistic ass, you know that?  _ God _ , you’re insufferable to deal with! To  _ live  _ with!”

“Oh, cuz it’s  _ so  _ much better to live with the douchiest archangel over there.”

“Yeah,  _ actually _ it is!” 

Dean paused in his argument, puzzle pieces fitting together. Sam wanted to take the insinuation back, wanted to keep Dean’s mind off that train of thought, but it was too late. He’d pieced it together. “Are you… are you  _ sleeping  _ with  _ him _ ?” 

Sam scoffed, trying to play it cool. “That’s none of your business.”  **_Real smooth, Sam. A+_ **

“You fucking are. Wow. Just wow. You know he  _ killed me  _ like a hundred times? You  _ do  _ remember that, don’t you? Or how he trapped us in TV land? He gave you fake herpes for fucks sake!” 

“I know that Dean! We’ve worked through our bullshit! He knows how to act like an adult and properly apologize for the shit he’s pulled, unlike  _ some  _ people.” 

“Oh, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Ugh! You’re so fucking _dense_ , Dean! You’ve never apologized for anything in _your_ _life_ unless it was cuz you wanted something in return! You can never apologize just because you’re sorry.”

Dean grunted, wagging an accusatory finger at Sam’s face. “Oh, like the  _ trickster _ apologizing to you so he could get in your pants is  _ soooo _ genuine. Ha! Don’t make me fucking laugh.”

Sam had enough. He hated how Dean was deflecting and pulling in other people into  _ their  _ problem. First, it was dragging Cas and Gabe to Jody’s, then mom, then blaming the Wilson’s, now it was Gabe again. He was  _ done _ . “Not that it’s  _ any _ of your business, but we haven’t had sex yet,  _ thank you very much _ , because it’s new and we’re taking it slow, and another thing, he apologized to me before we even  _ were  _ a thing, before we were even  _ close  _ to a thing. Not that you actually  _ care _ unless it’s to make yourself look better,” he saw Dean open his mouth, but barrelled right past it. “But he apologized to me before we went through the portal to apocalypse world. He sat me down and said that he knew he could never make it up to me, but he wanted to apologize for the shit he put me through -  _ us  _ through - and that I never had to forgive him if I didn’t want to. He said it’s up to the person who’s been wronged against to choose whether to forgive or not, not the sinner. And I forgave him anyways. Cuz it was genuine, and we both knew that he wasn’t going to get anything out of showing how he was wrong and how he’d changed. And he  _ has  _ changed! He’s good, Dean. His grace is still not 100%, so he helps around the house without it sometimes. He helps heal Diana who’s got a failing immune system - which, she probably wouldn’t want me blabbing about so I’ll have to apologize to her later about - and he washes the dishes and does laundry and he’s been teaching Jack all kinds of things. He and Jack have a vegetable patch in the back and it’s great! They talk about history, and science, and poetry, and they never leave anyone out of the conversation if they want to be a part of it. It’s  _ safe, _ it’s safe here. I  _ feel safe here _ .”

Dean’s face was redder than the tomatoes Jack had picked the other day. If Sam wasn’t so angry with his brother, he’d be concerned that Dean was about to blow an artery. “Safe?” His voice was too calm, almost like he was about to throw a bomb into a barrel of barracuda. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“I  _ mean _ I don’t have to worry about anything here except if I’ve forgotten to check on the pasta or if I’ve unplugged the clothes iron. I don’t wake up alone in the middle of the night in cold sweats from a nightmare. I don’t have to worry about whether or not I’m going to find you half alive cuz you’ve tried to drink yourself to death. I worry about whether or not I left enough water in the dogs’ bowls, or if I have enough cash for the pizza delivery, or whether I’m accidentally wearing Susan’s flannel instead of my own. You know,  _ normal _ people’s worries.”

“Fuck You.” 

Sam drew back, totally unexpected. “What did you just say to me?” 

The screen door opened behind him, no doubt Gabriel stepping out it Dean’s face had anything to say about it. “I  _ said: _ fuck. You.” 

Sam reeled back, putting distance between them. Brutus sat up, growling at Dean to back off, a line of support between them. He felt Gabriel’s hand rub between his shoulders, the hand unmistakably his even through the fabric of his shirts. “I shouldn’t have expected anything less from you.” His voice was shaking, low and hushed so only the three of them could hear. “Dean Winchester doesn’t apologize to anyone.”

“I apologize to those who  _ deserve it _ .”

Sam has to reach behind him to grasp onto Gabriel’s arm to restrain him. The angel had his hand extended, ready to snap his fingers to probably disintegrate Dean or turn his intestines inside out. He closed his eyes a moment, gathering himself. Crying now wouldn’t solve anything. “Wow. That’s exactly what I was expecting.”

“What does  _ that _ mean?”

“It  _ means _ ,” His voice was barely louder than a murmur, just enough for Gabe and Dean to hear. His hands shook, but he tried not to show it. “That you see everything in black and white. That it’s either  _ all  _ someone’s fault or none of their fault, and life’s not like that. It means you wouldn’t forgive mom for leaving us until you felt like it wasn’t at all her fault anymore. It means you forgave other people for their addictions, but not me for mine.” Dean looked like he was going to argue but Sam wouldn’t let him. “You talk shit about me behind my back, saying I’m cursed, and unnatural and a burden, and I’m  _ not _ . I’ve been clean for  _ nine years,  _ yet you’re barely clean for a  _ week _ at a time. You’re so high and mighty, ‘oh, Dean Winchester, the Michael sword, he  _ must _ be the next messiah, but Sam? Oh no, Sam’s an abomination! We can  _ never _ trust  _ him _ .’ And you  _ love  _ the attention, don’t pretend you don’t. You play into it and feel justified and it’s  _ disgusting _ .” Sam felt it all fall from his mouth like word vomit, unable to stop no matter how hard he tried, voice getting louder as the words spewed forth. “You’re always focused on your own version of good, you don’t see how other people could be good despite how you see them. They have to  _ prove _ it to you, and when they  _ do _ , you rarely apologize for mislabeling them. You  _ never  _ apologized to Jack for how you saw him, for how you stereotyped him before you even had a  _ chance _ to get to know him. You didn’t even apologize for threatening to kill him. Yeah, don’t think I forgot about  _ that _ .”

“You  _ what?! _ ”

Sam turned around to see both Gabriel and Diana say it in unison, but it was Diana who was walking out the door with fury. 

“You did  _ what _ ?!”

“It was a while ago! And that was before the kid showed he was good, and -“

Diana threw her shoe at him, hitting Dean square in the nose. “I don’t  _ care. _ He’s a  _ kid _ . You don’t  _ threaten a child with death!”  _ She pushed him down the steps, Dean walking backwards away from her onto the grass. “ _ Especially _ not when they’re in  _ your  _ care! This is  _ my _ house and while Sam, Jack and Gabriel are guests under this roof, you will  _ not _ come anywhere near them, capisce?”

“You can’t restrain me from seeing my own brother!”

“Oh yeah? Watch me!” She shoved him with her pointer finger as he took a step back. She kept shoving him as she spoke. “You come into _my_ ” _poke_ “house and accost _my guests”_ _poke_ , “and expect _me_ ” _poke_ , “to let it go? No way.” With a final shove, he was now standing on the gravel road just off their property. She leaned in closer to hiss at him, Sam barely making it out. “You brother needs space, and that is what you’ll give him. You don’t know what respectable boundaries are, so I’m gonna help you. You’re to leave him alone and when _he’s ready,_ no sooner, will _he_ contact _you._ Until then, donate some money, eat a taco, gank some monsters, call your mom, jerk off in the shower, I don’t _care_. Just go learn how to take better care of yourself and let _your brother heal in peace.”_ turning on her heel, she left Dean there, standing stunned and embarrassed for being cussed out by a woman easily a foot shorter than him. She _was_ pretty scary though, Sam had to admit. 

She climbed the steps roughly, snapping her fingers to get Brutus to follow her inside. “Pizza cool for dinner?” She asked calmly, as if she hadn’t just thrown a shoe at a man and walked him off her property with one socked foot on the rough gravel. 

Sam stared at her retreating back before turning his head to see Dean rubbing his nose in pain, lowering his head as he meandered back onto the property to get into the impala. He gunned the engine and peeled out of the driveway, gravel flying and grass being destroyed under the tires in anger as he spared Sam and the house one last annoyed look. 

Gabriel gently yanked on his wrist until he turned enough to be pulled down into a hug. “Did he really…” Sam nodded against Gabriel’s shoulder, hands wrapping around his shoulders. “ _ Fuck _ . I’m really glad Jack’s not here right now. I’m so sorry, Sam.” 

“‘S fine. I’m used to it.” He felt Gabriel rubbing his back in long strokes, relaxing against his boyfriend, feeling the anger and hurt ebb from him in waves. He let out a little sob, the hurt still fresh and sharp. “Just wish… I just wish…”

Gabriel nodded, turning to kiss Sam on the side of his face. “Big brothers, am I right?” 

That got a soft chuckle from Sam before he pulled away. He grasped Gabe’s hand on his own, bringing it to his mouth to pepper a little kiss to it. “Let’s go inside and help with dinner, hmm? Maybe then Diana won’t burn down the whole house.” 

“I heard that!” They chuckled at her annoyed voice, hearing Lynn calm her girlfriend down enough to a simmer as they opened the door, letting it slam behind them. They would be okay, even if Sam didn’t feel so okay right then and there


	8. Chapter 8

“So…” Gabriel leaned on one elbow, looking at Sam through lidded eyes as his bed partner looked up from the book he was reading. “Yesterday, when you were talking… well,  _ screaming  _ at Dean, you told him we hadn’t had sex yet.” Sam grimaced, ready to apologize but was stopped by Gabriel’s hand on his chest. “It’s fine, really. I’m just… I know we haven’t really talked about it, so I’m just wondering: is that  _ completely  _ off the table, or do you want to just take things slow? Cuz I’m okay with either option, I just wanna know ahead of time.” 

Sam put the book on the side table, fitting the bookmark Gabriel had bought for him at the farmers market all those weeks ago. “It’s not off the table, I just…” he moved the hair from his face, feeling himself blush like he was fourteen again. “I like how we are, you and me. The kissing’s nice, and the… the holding.” 

“Mmmm, you  _ are  _ a space heater, which I enjoy very much.” 

“Don’t much like getting kicked out of bed though…”

“Twice! That happened  _ twice _ by accident, and I said how sorry I was!” 

Sam chuckled, pulling Gabe’s hands to his face, kissing the back of each one. “I know, babe. I know. I’m just saying… I like us. I don’t… don’t want to ruin anything by…” he trailed off, shrugging as if that was a complete sentence on its own. 

Gabriel wasn’t buying what Sam was selling, though. “What? You think you having sex with me will kill me? Cuz, Sam, that’s not how that works, contrary to what other hunters gossip about you.”

“What? No. That’s not what I - wait. What are the other hunters gossiping about me? You know what? Doesn’t matter. No, I meant, with me… fumbling.” He petered off, voice dropping an octave. “I haven’t… Not since before Jess in college. I haven’t been with a guy, and I’m-“

“Oh.  _ Oh! _ Hey, no sweat.” Gabriel pulled Sam down the bed to his chest and kissed the hunter’s forehead. “If it’s any consolation, I wouldn’t make you feel bad if you did fumble. I’m not that kind of lover. We would take it slow, and there’d be lots of communication and direction, and I wouldn’t make you do anything you wouldn’t want to do.”

Sam smiled into Gabe’s shirt. It was one of Sam’s, soft and warm straight front be dryer. Gabriel had a slight obsession with warmth. Sam suspected it had to be because of all the years he’d spent in cold and damp cells in Hell, but he never brought it up. “Thanks. I never thought you would, by the way. I thought more  _ I’d  _ be too embarrassed to keep going if I messed up, and I wouldn’t be able to talk about it.” 

Gabriel kissed his forehead again, making a long smacking sound. “Oh, Sam. You know, I haven’t been with anyone in a long time too. So if anyone would get embarrassed by messing up, it’d be me.”

Sam lifted his head in confusion. “But.. Rowena?”

“A couple of hickeys and her hand on my junk for less than ten seconds before you guys burst in isn’t exactly what I call sex.” 

“You told Castiel you-“

Gabriel snorted. “Castiel the  _ virgin? _ Please! He wouldn’t know the difference.”

Sam laughed, continuing to laugh harder when Gabriel’s look turned into absolute horror. “Oh, oh  _ wow _ , man. Cas- shit! Cas isn’t a virgin anymore, dude!”

“Huh. So Dean finally grew a pair and -“

“Nope. A reaper.”

“A  _ reaper _ .”

“Yup.”

“Cas and  _ a reaper _ .”

“To be fair, Cas was human at the time.”

“Huh.”

“Yup.”

“Well then.”

“Mmhmmm” 

“So…” Gabriel drooped his head ever so slightly so he could peak out through his eyelashes. “We… could try to.. you know.”

Sam licked his lips, turning so he was pressed more firmly against Gabriel’s front. “Yeah, we  _ could _ but this isn’t our house, and I feel kinda weird doing it with Jack down the hall.”

Gabriel scrunched his nose at that. “Yeah… you’re right. Okay, so, how about instead, we… go on vacation.”

“Vacation?”

“Yeah. Just you and me. We could talk to the girls and ask them if it’s okay if we leave Jack here and we can go for a week anywhere you want.”

Sam’s eyes danced at the possibilities. There was so much of the world he wanted to visit, but between the world almost ending every year or so, his face being on the FBI’s most wanted list, and Dean’s fear of planes, he never went anywhere. “Anywhere?” 

“Anywhere.”

“Even if I want to go to two separate places?”

“Sam, you could chose a new place for each day of the week. So long as you tell me beforehand so I can prepare where I snap us off to and have enough grace to do it, I say we can - mmfph!” Gabriel never finished his thought as Sam’s lips pressed firmly into his own. It was sweet and passionate and not as slow as their other makeouts. Gabriel let himself get swept away into the kiss as Sam’s hands roamed through his hair and his back. 

When they parted, Sam trailed kisses up to his ear, where he whispered, “I’m thinking we do three places. Berlin, Rome, and Paris.”

“Oh, the three sexy cities of Europe. Kind of basic for you, but I accept.” 

“They’re romantic.” Sam pulled up to look at him better. Gabe looked a little scared, as of this was all a dream and he’d wake up any second. “I’m sentimental, okay? So what if I’m basic?”

Gabriel’s face morphed into a soft, almost adoring look of peace. “There’s nothing wrong with that. I thought maybe you’d chose London so you could punch some British Men of Letters in the face yourself, or Japan so we could get drunk on sake and sing karaoke off key or something.”

“Hmm… I could be persuaded. Wait.. where do  _ you  _ want to go?” 

“Honestly? I’m quite fond of pre-war Iran. That place was epic. Oh, and Pompeii before the volcano, but time travel is too much on me right now. Maybe… okay, so my requirements:” 

“Okay, I’m listening.”

“Let me list them!”

“Okay!”

“Okay! So my requirements: has to be somewhere where the room we stay in is a suite. Two, we have to be able to do a bunch of things outside. Three, enough privacy so in case we want to ‘get romantic’, we have privacy. And four, has to be warm but not so warm that we can’t hold each other under the covers without melting.”

Sam nodded, thinking it over. “Okay, well, it’s too warm for Costa Rica right now, so maybe we can go to Tuscany? It’s warm, we can walk outside a lot, maybe visit a vineyard or two.” 

Gabriel leaned up to kiss Sam on the lips, fingers trailing slowly up to cradle his cheeks. “Sounds perfect. I actually know a place we can stay too.” 

True to their expectations, the Wilsons were more than comfortable with Sam and Gabriel leaving to go on vacation. Jack, however, was apprehensive at best. 

“But what if something happens and I need you?” He wouldn’t let go of Sam’s sleeve all day, trying to keep his pseudo father from poofing away in front of him right then. 

Sam sighed silently for the sixth time that day, rubbing a hand on Jack’s shoulder in comfort. “Jack, I have total faith in you asking the Wilsons for help if you need it. Besides, Lynn said she wanted to show you how to work their database.” 

Jack looked down at where his fingers grasped the flannel, mind trying to piece it all together. He was safe here, and he knew that, but Sam was a big reason  _ why _ he felt safe there. Sam was his rock. And now his rock was going away for a week without him and he was  _ scared.  _ “Okay. But can you… can you call me?” 

“Everyday.” Gabriel wrapped Jack up in a careful hug, his nephew gripping his waist in an almost bone crushing grip. “I’ll even set an alarm, okay?” 

Jack nodded against his shoulder, slowly letting go and gripping onto Sam, hugging him with tears in his eyes. “Come back, Okay? Please come back.”

“Always, Jack. Always.” Sam squeezed Jack for as long as the boy needed. “You’ll be okay. We’ll be okay too.” When Jack finally let go, Gabriel gripped Sam’s hand and the two of them waved before disappearing off to their first destination. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel and Sam take a vacation... from their vacation. Cue romance and a bloody nose - and a sex scene.  
> Merry Christmas

On their first day, Gabriel’s nose wouldn’t stop bleeding. He wasn’t strong enough yet to fly, but he refused to be trapped on a plane - his damn pride bigger than his britches - so they flew anyways. They spent their first evening in Venice couped up in the hotel room, Sam requesting several boxes of tissues and pillows from the main desk. The look of the bellhop was very suggestive, but unfortunately, they disappointed the man by laying in bed and holding tissue after tissue to Gabe’s nose to collect the blood instead of having wild, kinky sex. 

Their second day was spent actually enjoying the sights. The smell was less than lovely, to Sam’s dismay, but Gabriel couldn’t smell a damned thing so he didn’t really care. Turned out that Gabriel was a  _ huge  _ romantic, taking Sam on a couples gondola ride, a lovely red rose bouquet he picked special for Sam, then swept him off to a candlelight dinner after their tour of Museo Correr. Gabriel was clearly exhausted at the end of the day, but he put on a brave face for Sam. He wanted his hunter to have a good time and not worry so much. Shame that Sam always worried. 

On their third day, they took the train from Venice to Budapest. Gabriel had been to Hungary a few times as a tourist before, mostly to play tricks on asshats, but he still had enough memory of the area to have booked a small suite at a hotel near the main square. 

They sat side by side on the train, holding hands, with Gabriel leaning heavily on Sam’s right side, murmuring softly to him of all the things he wanted them to do together. Gabriel had either done all those things before, or had taken the time to look up all the attractions before they’d left. Either way, Sam was happy to not have to plan much, agreeing to go along with most of what Gabriel had planned for them. Mostly. 

“I’m not eating an entire  _ sword _ of meat, Gabe. That’s disgusting.” He wrinkled his nose at his boyfriend, turning his head away to mock vomiting. 

Gabriel poked him on the tip of his nose, making a ‘boop’ noise before gripping his hand around his bicep. “Oh, come on, babe. Live a little.” 

Sam rolled his eyes, looking to the side only to catch the older woman across them staring at the pair. “Uh…” 

“Oh! Sorry dears,” she lifted an olive hand to apologize, sheepish smile creeping on the corners of her mouth. Her thick Turkish accent peeled through as she continued, “You two just remind me of an old couple friend of mine. You’re both very cute with one another.”

Sam blushed, unaware of how to respond to the comment. Most of the time, they only held hands under tables or in the car; they weren’t PDA kind of people. But that was Working Sam and Gabe™️, not Vacation Sam and Gabe™️. Even on dates at home, Jack usually came with them, which wasn’t that weird for them. He wasn’t a buffer or a chaperone, he just didn’t want to feel left out on going to see a movie or eating at a new diner. They didn’t mind either, but when it was just the two of them? Sam noticed it more. The looks, the need for closeness. But compliments? This was new. 

“I know, right?” Gabe exclaimed, pulling Sam tighter to him. He wasn’t bragging or being dismissive, he was just… proud. 

She laughed lightly. “You’re very sweet to one another. How long have you been together?” 

“Not long,” Sam answered. He felt Gabriel squeezing his hand in comfort. “We’ve known each other forever, though. I guess it was bound to happen,” he looked down at Gabe’s adoring face, smirking. “Guess he wore me down.”

Gabriel scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Like hell I did. You fell for me because of who I am, not what I did.” He said it in an airy tone but his jaw was clenched in irritation. 

Sam smiled, bringing up Gabriel’s hand to his mouth to plant a soft kiss on. It wasn’t normally something he did, but he could sense how fast Gabriel could get once he went down the shame spiral. There’d been a nightmare once, where Gabriel admitted that Sam left him, bleeding out on a dirty, abandoned factory floor after stabbing him and claiming he was ‘dead weight anyways’. Sam picked up on the self doubt almost as soon as it started, and managed to calm him down before it got too bad. “I know, babe. I’m only teasing. You know I wouldn’t be with you unless I really wanted to.”

This seemed to calm Gabriel down a bit, the woman changing the subject quickly. “Are you two headed to Budapest too?” 

“Yep. My first time, actually. Gabe’s been there before.”

“Oh! How exciting! It’s very nice this time of year, especially with the folk arts festival this weekend. That’s where I’m heading to.”

Sam turned to Gabriel who only shrugged. “I wanted it to be a surprise.” 

Sam rolled his eyes, huffing a laugh. “Typical Gabe.” 

They spoke with her a few more minutes, finding out she was on her way to Hungary for business. Apparently she was a pretty big deal in the history world there, on her way to give a lecture at the capital city’s biggest university. They listened intently to her opening joke and gave feedback on her jesting material.

When they reached the station, Gabriel helped her with her bags, and Sam tried to remind himself not to melt. It was ridiculous, Sam Winchester,  _ melting  _ over some,.. some  _ guy _ . But Gabriel always surprised him in the best ways. 

The hotel was within walking distance of the station, Sam marvelling at the architecture around them as they walked. He had never thought to come here, but Elizabeth Bathory was Hungarian and Gabriel knew his obsession with serial killers.  **_Well, obsession is a bit strong of a term,_ ** Sam thought **_. Appreciation? No, that was worse. Fascination? Ah, hell._ **

Checking in was easy in Venice, but here, the front desk was crazy, Sam’s headache only getting worse as the day wore on. Gabriel pushes him to sit on the couch off in the corner as he dealt with the check in. They got some looks, a few pinched faces here and there, but no one said anything to them.  **_Probably since I look like a lumberjack ready to chop some trees down_ ** . He started to fall asleep where he sat from pain and boredom when Gabriel gently touched his face to rouse him. 

Their suite in Venice had been nice, but this one was far bigger. The bathroom had a jacuzzi tub just big enough for them both with a flat screen across from it, perfect for what Sam had planned for tomorrow. Sam wanted to be romantic too; sue him. But then and there, Sam wanted nothing more than to nap until his headache to abate. 

Sam lay on the bed, snuggling into the sheets as the bed dipped on either side of his legs. He looked down to see Gabriel crawling over top of him, eyes shining with hesitation and excitement. “Oh?” He asked. 

Gabriel bit his lip as he reached Sam’s head. He leaned his lower half down, pressing into Sam’s groin with his own. “Only if you want to,” he ran a finger over Sam’s brow, straightening the hair there. “I’m not gonna pressure y-“

“I want to,” the words rushed from his mouth, without permission. He wasn’t angry at it, though. He was excited. He wanted Gabriel’s touch, and he was ready. “Come here,” his voice was soft, hands carefully roaming over Gabriel’s shoulders, gripping at his head as he guided his lover’s mouth where he wanted it. “How do you…?”

Gabriel pulled away, running a hand down Sam’s side. “Want to ride you, if I can.” 

Sam groaned low and loud. “Fuck yes.” 

Gabriel keened high, kissing him with every ounce of love and devotion that Sam’s hands shook where they grabbed at his clothes, ripping them off one by one. Soon, Gabriel was in nothing, his boxers halfway down to his knees. He slid down Sam’s front, kissing skin as he freed it from the confines of his clothes. 

When he got to his prize, he sucked hard at the head, Sam’s hips bucking upwards. 

“Jesus Christ, Gabe!” 

Gabriel pulled off with a pop, staring down at him in annoyance. “Mind  _ not  _ saying that name when my mouth is on your dick?” 

“What?” Sam stared him in confusion a moment before it hit him. “Oh. Oh  _ shit _ . Damnit, Gabe, I’m sorry. Oh my GOD,” Gabriel stare turned exasperated as he pulled completely away, standing up to pull his boxers back up. “Oh shit!” Sam thumped his head back, annoyed at himself. “I’m so sorry, baby. Geez, I’m really dropping the ball here.” 

Gabriel sighed, sliding into bed next to him, allowing Sam to run fingers through his hair. “It’s okay. I’m just not feeling it.” 

Sam nodded. If Gabriel had shouted ‘Dean’ or ‘John’, Sam’s dick would deflate like a popped beach ball too. He pulled Gabriel close to him, kissing his face carefully. “I’m so sorry. It’s a slip, but I’ll try not to do that again.”

Gabriel nodded, snuggling into Sam’s side. “Can we just lay here? For now, I’ll be okay to go again later, I pro-“

“It’s okay, baby,” Sam rushed to comfort him. He kissed around his face, being careful and restrained with his affection. He didn’t want Gabriel to feel like he owed Sam anything. That’s not what sex should be. “We can do whatever you want. We can watch that bake-off show you like. Do you want to do that? Hmm? Order ice cream and watch them bake?” 

Gabriel shook his head. He ran his hands under Sam, between the bed and his back, kneading at his ass. “No, I just want to be with you.” 

“Mmm. Wanna not kneed my ass so hard, then?” 

“ _ Tsk _ . I like how it feels, though.” 

Sam rolled his eyes and allowed Gabriel to grope him anyways. “Fine. But watch those fingers.” 

“Mmkay.” 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some more family bs. what else is new tho

The fourth day started with Jack calling at 6 in the morning, waking Sam in an annoyed grunt. “Hello?” 

“Sam?” 

Sam shot out of bed, dislodging Gabriel and having the angel tumble to the floor in a shout. “Jack? What is it? What’s wrong? It’s midnight there. Are you on a hunt? What’s that noise in the background?” 

Jack whined, a hollow sound in the back of his throat. “Sorry, I know it’s still early there, it’s just… Castiel is here and he wants to know where you are.” 

“What?” Sam looked over the edge of the bed to see Gabriel rubbing his backside and throw a pinched look at his boyfriend. “Cas is there?” 

Gabriel stopped, immediately to his feet and grabbing at the phone until Sam handed it over. “Jack? It’s Gabriel. Yeah… uh huh. No, we’re fine. Yeah… no we were just sleeping. Mm. Yeah, we ate ice cream and watched tv. Yeah, I know, super exciting.” He rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face said everything that Sam needed to know. “Yeah, put Cas on. Thanks. Yeah, we’ll call again today. Yep. Same time. Yeah, so that’ll be 11:30am for you, so you better head to bed soon. Yeah… love ya too. Okay, bu-bye.” There was a pause, some chatter on the other line. Gabriel’s stance changed from relaxed to rigid as Castiel’s voice came onto the phone. “Yeah, Cas. Hi to you too.” There was some yelling that came through the speaker, but Gabriel refused to move the phone away from his ear. Sam tried swiping it back, but he just started pacing in the suite. “Yeah, listen: Sam and I just needed a few days to ourselves, okay? I’m sure Dean’s told you  _ all about _ his visit to the house. And honestly, the Wilson’s are good people. The only safer place for Jack would be with us, but we don’t want an audience right now, okay? And Sam deserves a vacation. A  _ real  _ one, not one where he sits in the bunker for two days marathoning whatever show Dean tries to get him into. And you know, I don’t like your tone here, baby brother. You know, this is the first time I’m even hearing from you since Jody Mills’ place.” 

There was another pause, far lengthier, Gabriel stopping in his pacing to sit on the bed next to Sam again.  “What’s he saying?” Sam asked, only to be shown a finger up in pause from Gabriel. He huffed, pulling the shorter one closer so he could try to catch part of whatever Cas was saying. 

Gabriel did him one better by putting the phone on speaker. “-do trust you to make a good decision, but Kelly left Jack to be  _ my _ responsibility and I won’t be pushed aside when it comes to his safety. I call him every night,  _ every single night _ and he seems okay, but how would I know?” Castiel’s concerned voice crackled on the other line. “How would I know for certain unless I was around? I understand that the situation in the bunker wasn’t ideal, but-“ 

“No Cas,” Sam cut him off, unable to hear this a second time. “It’s not that it wasn’t ideal, it’s that it’s literally unsafe for jack to be anywhere near Dean, and unless you’re willing to kick Dean out, Jack won’t be moving back in. And I go where Jack goes.”

“Yeah, same.” Gabriel echoed. 

Sam nodded at him, leaning and kissing him on the forehead sweetly. 

Castiel sighed on the other line, the sound of a door closing. “I understand, Sam.” The creaking of the springs on the bed he was sitting on were louder than they ought to be, telling Sam that Cas was in Gabriel’s old room. “I just… Diana told me what he said that day. When he came to see you. Dean told me you chose Gabriel over him and I wanted to come see for myself. Smart woman, Diana. All of them, actually. I… I wish you’d stayed with them after Dean went to hell. Maybe circumstances would have been better.”

Sam nodded, remembering the first hunt he took on after Dean had been buried. Not even a whole week had gone by and he jumped into a vampire nest without backup, Lynn beheading the vamp that had him pinned to the piss soaked floor of the abandoned bus depot, shaking her head at how stupid he was for being there alone. He’d entertained the idea at first, but after he’d gotten back to the motel, Ruby had found him and well… No reason to dwell on it now, though. “Maybe. But we can’t know for sure now, huh?”

“I suppose not. Had I known what he’d say to you, I wouldn’t have let Dean go that day. It’s just… he hadn’t been eating or sleeping, and we had a fight, and-“

“Fight?” Gabriel asked, concern resonating from him in waves. “Fight about what?” 

“I told him he should take better care of himself, that he was wasting away. He asked me why I cared.  _ Why I cared?  _ It’s not like I gave up  _ everything  _ for him or anything! And I was upset but I didn’t say anything, kept my mouth shut because he was drunk and I knew he’d regret it in the morning, but then he started throwing things at me, telling me I should care  _ more _ , and we just… it got out of hand.”

Gabriel sucked his teeth. “What happened?” 

“It- he jus- I-“

“Tell me.” 

Castiel grunted.  “I told him he couldn’t keep pushing people away and expecting them to come back. It’s not healthy to push your feelings down and ignore them and he told me ‘well that’s what you do, too’, and I told him ‘I learnt that from you.’ Then… he started calling me names.”

“Like?”

“Like ‘junkless’ and ‘robot’ and ‘heartless bastard’. I walked away, but then he-“ 

Sam grabbed the phone from Gabriel’s hand to hold it closer to his face. “What?” 

“He kissed me.”

They paused, staring at one another in surprise. This wasn’t how either of them expected the conversation to go. “Uh, congrats?” Gabriel shrugged. 

“No, Gabriel. Not ‘ _ congrats _ ’. He didn’t do it cuz he wanted to. It was a  _ diversion _ . He did it and cuffed my hand to his bed, then he bolted for the garage and left to go see you three. I had to break my wrist to get free and get Mary to track his phone. I had no idea he was using Jack’s phone to track you all. I wouldn’t have let him do that but-“

“No one  _ let’s  _ Dean Winchester  _ do _ anything,” Sam finished for him. He sighed, annoyed and bone tired from the conversation. “I know Cas, just… let me talk to Diana in letting you stay a few days. Spend some time with Jack while we’re away.” 

“Yes, okay. I already spoke to Susan and Lynn and they seem okay with it. I think Diana will need some convincing. She kind of reminds me of Dean, though much of her soul’s edges are softer.”

“Really?” Gabe asked, head tilted to the side. “She reminds me most of Sam. Her hard work ethic and demeanour, the soft laugh, flowy hair-“ 

Sam shoved at his shoulder playfully to get them back on track. “Okay, Cas. Can you pass the phone to Diana, please?” 

Castiel grunted. “When will you be back?” 

“Uh…” Sam looked to Gabriel, wondering if they should cut their trip short. But the look on his face told Sam that Gabriel needed this vacation as much as Sam did. They were gonna stay right where they were. “We’ll be back in four and a half days. We still have Tuscany to hit up and that’s gonna take the rest of our trip. We’ll bring back some gelato for you.”

“I don’t eat, Sam.”

“Well, humour us, would ya?”

Castiel sighed, the phone muffled against something as he spoke to someone on the other side a few moments. As they waited, Gabriel mouthed at Sam’s bare shoulder, hand creeping up his back. Sam shot him an exasperated look, but Gabriel’s fingers found a knot at the base of his spine as started to work it, his mouth falling open in relief and pleasure. There was more muffled talking before Diana’s voice came through. 

“Hey guys,” she sighed. “I’m gonna go to bed now, but Castiel can stay the night and I’ll figure this shot out in the morning.” 

Sam batted Gabe’s hands away before he accidentally moaned into the phone, embarrassing them both. “Yeah, Thanks Diana. Hey, you can just ask him to leave, you know. I don’t want to have to put him up, you know.”

She scoffed, probably rolling her eyes back on Virginia. “Oh, please, Sam. You should see how much Jack relaxed once Cas came here. He was pretty damn shocked at our warding too,” they could hear the pride rolling off her in waves. “Said he hadn’t seen anything that strong in millennia. But… I digress. Jack needs him like he needs you and Gabriel. He needs strong relationships to prosper, you know that. And he’s going to need more connections to angels too. I’m not kicking Castiel out, but I’m not playing pinochle with him either.” 

“Pinochle? No one plays pinochle anymore!” 

Diana cursed, Sam could see her rubbing at her face in his mind’s eye. “Whatever. I’m just saying: he can stay. Lynn and Susan already decided and they outrank me, whether I like it or not.”

“Thought you run this house?” 

“Yeah, you and me both. Anyways, enjoy your vacation, we’ll all still be alive when you come back. Ooh! Can you bring me back some gelato if you’re in Rome?”

The two of them chuckled, Diana not understanding the inside joke between them both. 


	11. Chapter 11

Sam didn’t want to blink or else he was sure he’d miss it.

Gabriel outdid himself this time,  _ for sure _ . 

After they’d hung up with Diana, they spent their day in Budapest at the folk arts festival, a man on stilts startling Sam as he grabbed a charm bracelet for his mother. The stilted man hung over Sam wearing a Half mask, causing Sam to trip over himself and fall onto the ground in a heap. Gabriel found it very amusing, but helped Sam up anyways, kissing his scrapes hands as the stilt-walker apologized profusely in Hungarian. 

When their day came to a close, he was whisked away by his angel to another train ride, and making it just in time to Florence to catch the start of the evening. 

Flying over Tuscany in a hot air balloon with the sun setting was by and far the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for him. He stared in awe, Gabriel’s back pressed to his front as Sam’s arms wrapped around his chest. 

“You like it?” Gabriel whispered, terrified to break the spell. 

Sam nodded, choking up. “Ye- Yeah. It’s… it’s perfect, Gabe.” 

Gabriel pulled Sam’s hands to his mouth, kissing them both. 

The balloon operator said nothing but looked at them with joy and hope. They were so soft with one another, it was a lovely change of pace from the other newlyweds who tried to suck face while he flew them over the stunning landscape. He knew nothing of them, just of how much the shorter one bribed him to take on one last fare for the day, but he felt more love between them at that soft expression than he had from every other couple he had flown before. 

He made sure they stayed up longer than normal, waiting until they were almost completely out of fuel and just in the edge of dark enough to be considered dangerous before started their descent. 

“ _Grazi_ ,” Gabriel thanked him as they exited, holding Sam’s hand tightly. 

“You’re welcome, was this an anniversary?” 

Sam chuckled, blushing a bit as he rubbed his free hand at the back of his neck. “Sort of. More like… a reunion.” He was too busy being embarrassed at the soft, loving look Gabriel was giving him that he kissed the single tear that left the balloon operator’s eye as he remembered his own sweetheart waiting for him at home. “Thank you again, I’ve never been in a hot air balloon before. It was wonderful.” 

He waved him off, wishing them a good night as he called home to let his wife know he was on his way back. 

Walking over to the vineyard where they'd spend their last night, Sam took Gabriel aside and pressed him against a tree far from prying eyes.

“Sam?”

Sam smiled down at him, kissing him softly on the mouth. “Thank you. This is exactly what I needed. I-” He his his face in his lover’s clavicle. “I love you.”

It was so quiet, he barely breathed it into the other man’s next, but arms came up around his neck, Sam having a split second to catch him as legs wrapped around his hips, Gabriel kissing every inch of Sam he could reach. “I love you, I love you too, oh fuck, Sam. I love you so much.”

Sam’s knees buckled and they slid to the hard packed dirt below them, chuckling and kissing as their hearts swelled. Sam forgot how happy he could be, forgot he was allowed to be happy. He let himself get swept up in it all as Gabriel grabbed at his jacket to rip it off. “Here? Are you sure, Gabe? It’d be more comfortable in the b-”

“I’m sure. I’m so fucking sure, Sam. come on, come  _ on _ ! He fought with Sam’s good plaid shirt, Sam chuckling as he leaned back to take it off. “The t-shirt too.”

“Yeah, okay,  _ Mr. Bossy.” _ But Sam couldn’t complain. It really was the best ending to their vacation, even if they got stares as they tumbled back into the vineyard’s resort with red hickey marks starting to show on their necks and jaws. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning: mention of suicide attempt

“Pass the salt."

Sam pressed the shaker into Diana’s hand, stirring the sauce into the pasta as she seasoned the fish. “I think it’s salty enough, Di.” 

She rolled her eyes, muttering at him. “You’re salty enough.”

“What?” 

“Huh?” They stared at each other for a second before laughing. Cooking together helped ease some of the guilt Sam had for not keeping in contact with his friend for years. They worked well together, but she couldn’t be around Dean, not as she recovered from her own addiction, and so he’d chosen to push their friendship aside for his brother. Something Diana had told him he had no reason to feel guilty for, but did anyways. “Lynn said it needs a few more minutes anyways. Did you make the salad?” 

“Yeah, I chopped the- “

_ Riiiing! Ring ring riiiiing!  _ Sam flinched at the loud landline ring, interrupting him from his own thoughts.

“Hold on,” Diana ran and slid the seven feet to the phone on socked feet, ripping the receiver off it’s cradle. “Yellow!” She greeted happily. “Yes, this is…” Sam turned the burner off as he saw her face fall. “Uh-Huh. Yes, I-“ her face went slack, normally olive complexion turning paler than a sheet of paper. 

“Diana?” 

Her eyes turned to his, wide and scared. “Yes… I understand. Okay, thank you. What floor?” She turned away from him, walking as far as the cord allowed to snatch an old electric bill and a pen, scribbling something quickly on the back of it as she murmured in affirmation to the person on the other side of the phone. “Yes, I will. Yes, thank you.” Turning back, she carefully placed the phone on the cradle, not meeting his eyes. “Turn the stove off and cover everything. Then, go upstairs and pack a bag. We’re gonna be away for a few days.” 

He gently touched her arm, trying to meet her gaze but she wouldn’t look at him. “Diana, you’re scaring me. What’s going on? Did someone die?” 

She choked on her own breath, shaking as she looked up at him. “Almost.” 

“Al- is it Susan? What-“ 

“No. They’re... call Gabe. Tell him you and I are leaving for a few days.” And with that, she left the room. He couldn’t understand why she was so cryptic, but he did as she said. Following her, he found her in her room, Lynn on the bed, book long forgotten as she and Diana spoke in a hushed whisper. “- I’ll be okay, we’ll take Gabriel with us, but Jack should stay here. He can’t see him like this, you know what it’ll do to him, and-“

“You’re right.” Lynn stroked her girlfriend’s face, sighing as the lines around her eyes danced in the low light. “Sue and I will be here, and you call when you get there. Don’t let him drive, either.” 

“Obviously not, Lynn. I’m not a moron.” 

Lynn rolled her eyes, face turning soft moments later. “Does he know?” 

“No,” he pushed the door open, leaning on the wall just inside their room. “No he doesn’t, so can someone  _ please _ tell me what the hell happened?” 

Both women looked at him, then each other in worry before Diana dropped a bomb on him he should have been expecting. “It’s Dean. He’s in the hospital. Your mom… she found him on the ground in the garage and rushed him to the ER.” She stood, pushed the wingback chair for him to sit down on. His legs turned to jelly, falling into it as she continued. “He had some extensive surgery, and he’s in recovery but… but they’re holding him for the week.” 

“Wh- Why?” The look they gave him was enough. “Oh… oh GOD. I-“ his throat clicked. “Can.. can you call Gabe?” 

 

—————————

 

The drive to the hospital went by in a blur, Sam crying softly for the first hour on Gabriel’s shoulder in the back seat of the truck cab as Diana probably broke every speeding law between them and Lebanon. She didn’t stop except for gas and bathroom breaks, and Sam would have offered to drive, but Gabe kept him away from the front, carding fingers through his hair, softly singing along to the radio in his ear, careful kisses pressed to his pounding temple. 

He fell asleep sometime between Louisville and St Louis, waking up the next evening at around midnight. Gabe carefully lifted him from the back, Diana looking a wreck but clamoured out too.

They had sustained on mostly drive through and packaged snacks, his stomach growling angrily at him. At the sight of the impala in the parking lot, however, his stomach turned and he puked up his entire stomach contents into the nearest trash can. Gabriel’s hand was gentle on his back, rubbing circles, the other holding his hair back through careful fingers. 

When he’d successfully emptied his stomach, he took the water Diana offered him, swishing it around in his mouth before spitting it out. “Thanks.” 

She nodded, saying nothing. 

Going through the main entrance, Diana collapsed in the nearest chair, pulling her hood on and yanking the strings shut, covering all but her nose and top lip. “Diana?” She held up a thumb before slouching and passing out. Sam looked to Gabriel for support, maybe a kind word, but Gabriel let go of his hand to embrace a familiar looking face. “Cas?”

Castiel grabbed tightly at his brother’s back, the duffle in his hands falling to their feet, tucking his head down onto his shoulder. They didn’t say anything, Castiel close to the edge of tears. As soon as the embrace started to get awkward, they pulled away, Cas stepping around to hug Sam. “I brought a bag of his clothing, if you could bring it up to him.”

“You’re not going-”

“I’ll stay here. Watch over Diana.” He looked down at the snoozing woman as they pulled away. “She…” he moved a hand in front of her nose, relief as he felt her breathing. Nodding once, he sat down stiffly next to her. 

Sam was thankful for the warm hand slipping into his own, Gabriel holding the duffle in his other hand. He felt the hot iron grip around his heart lessen as he reminded himself that he didn’t have to do this alone. 

It was painful to go through the mental health ward again after the last time he had been in one, but this was different. For one thing, he wasn’t having hallucinations. Another, he had Gabriel by his side. The floor was also much brighter and every wall had some kind of colourful painting, or collages made by some patients next to the daily schedules. 

At the sign in desk, they were given name badges and led to Dean’s room by one of the orderlies. Gabe thanked the man as Sam was unable to make any sound. The sight of Dean laid up in bed, a huge gauze bandage in the middle of his bare stomach as he lay there sleeping was horrifying. He felt himself back in the shoes he’d been in thirteen years ago, Dean laid up in bed on a ventilator after the semi had totalled their impala, his brother on life support. There was no ventilator keeping his alive this time, thankfully, but the panic in him did not abate. He was suddenly glad he had thrown up before because he felt nauseous again, and doubted the staff would appreciate cleaning up after him right then. 

Gabe led Sam to the closest chair, sitting him down next to the bed. In the other chair was Mary’s coat, most likely she’d gone for a coffee if the two empty cups sitting on the side table indicated. Sam sat, unable to do anything else, as Gabe ran fingers through his hair. “Want me to wake him up?” 

Sam shook his head, then nodded, then shook again. “I don’t know.” 

Gabriel understood. If the situation was reversed, if one of  _ his  _ siblings were laid up in the mental ward after a suicide attempt, he’d be hard pressed on whether he’d want to slap them or hug them crying. Either way, he knew that Sam just needed comfort, so he wrapped his arms around Sam’s neck, bending a bit to rest his head on top of Sam’s. His lover hugged back, sniffling a bit but saying nothing. 

At the sound of footsteps, they slowly broke apart, but not before Mary walked in and saw them. “Gabriel? Sam!” She thrust her coffee into the angel’s hand, gathering up her youngest son in a warm embrace. “Oh! I didn’t expect you so soon! Cas said Gabriel couldn’t fly and you’d be driving, and-” she pulled apart to stare him down. “Did you even stop to eat? Sleep? It’s over a twenty five hour drive, Sam, I-”

“Diana and I drove,” Gabriel interrupted them, the two Winchesters turning their attention on him. Sam must have been really out of it, not remembering Gabe even leaving his side. “Sam slept in the back and leaning on one of us, and Di and I switched every couple hours. We stopped for gas and drive thru, and we  _ may  _ have speeded. Just a little.” 

Mary rolled her eyes, though and smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “Well, as long as no one crashed the car.” She ran concerned fingers on his face, eyes sorrowful. “You look otherwise good. You’ve been sleeping and eating?” 

He nodded against his mother’s hands. “Yes, mom. Gabriel’s been taking good care of me.” He could practically  _ feel  _ the pride coming off his boyfriend behind him. “We just got back from a trip-” 

“Europe. Yeah, Cas said. I wanna hear all about it, but... maybe later.” Her eyes had so much horror behind them, more than ever before. To see your own son in a pool of blood… especially when you’d been stern with him before- Sam tried not to picture Jack in that position. “I shouldn’t have yelled at him. It’s my fault.” Her voice strangled the words from her mouth, a single tear rolling down her cheek. Gabriel was fast to get the other chair across the room, shoving it close so she could collapse into it. Sam grasped her hands, shuffling his chair closer so he could sit too. “I found him drinking that day and I suggested he go lie down for a nap because he was scaring Maggie, but he told me to ‘suck it’, so I yelled at him. I was so…  _ angry _ . He treated you so awfully, and  _ Jack _ , and I tried to get him to tell me why he was acting so intensely since we’d been back, why he went to see you in person and acted like he did, why he was pushing everyone away and he told me he just wanted you back. That… that you blew it out of proportion, and I tried reasoning with him, but he,” she shuddered a breath. “He then asked me why I cared. It… why I care? Cuz you’re my  _ kids, _ that’s why I care. Then he started beating down on himself. I-” 

Gabriel put her coffee down and pulled her hair back out of her face. She breathed more evenly, closing her eyes and letting the panic attack creeping in her be banished. He noticed it in her hands much like how Sam was before his own hit him. Sam smiled at him for doing what he did whenever Sam got overwhelmed. He felt so much more in love with the angel then than he had ever before. This… being, over several millennia old who’d run from his family after things became unbearable was here. For  _ Sam _ and  _ his _ family. It was almost too much to watch as Gabriel took one hand and carded her hair back through fingers, grasping it in the other. It was soothing. Like gathering hair for ponytail without tying it up. 

She calmed down less than a minute later, opening her eyes and clicking her tongue. “Thanks. I… I’m okay now.” She tilted her head back and Gabriel smiled as he let go.  

 

\-------------

 

Dean slept for another hour, the three adults awake talking softly as the staff around them puttered along. Visiting hours had been over for hours, but the staff were scared of Mary, letting her family stay as long as they liked. Of course, she’d lied and threatened to rain down on them with the full powers of the (fake) FBI, so that helped a bit.

He was groggy when he woke, smacking his dry mouth open and coughing. “Mom?” 

“I’m here, right here.” She shot up out of her chair, gripping his hand. “Sam’s here too.” 

At the mention of his brother, Dean’s eyes popped open wide and stared at Sam. “Sammy?”

He mustered a smile and held Dean’s outstretched hand on the other side of the bed. “Yeah, man. I’m here. You scared the shit outta me.” 

“I did?” He blinked up at his brother, dumbfounded.

Sam’s brows furrowed, staring at his brother in disbelief. “Yeah, I… what happened?” 

“Mom, can you…?”

Mary nodded, kissing her son on the forehead, his eyes slowly blinking at the warm gesture. “Sure. Gabe and I will be in the main room.” It was then that Dean noticed Gabriel rising from the chair. The look on Dean’s face was one Sam knew well. He wanted the angel to heal him but was too damn proud and stubborn to ask. He nodded, kissing the back of her hand before she and Gabriel walked out. 

He watched them go, eyes turning slowly to Sam’s face. “So…” 

“Just… what happened, Dean?” 

He sighed, long and suffering. “Okay, no bullshit?” 

Sam nodded, dragging a chair to sit next to him. “No bullshit.” 

“You  _ died _ , Sam.” Dean’s voice was wrecked, strained and more vulnerable than Sam had heard it in  _ years _ . “And it was like every other fucking time flashed over and over in my head, and then you came back and it was fucking…  _ him  _ who brought you back?  _ Him?  _ It was too fucking  _ much  _ and I didn’t think like I could come to you to talk about it because I mean… I don’t know what I’d do if-if-if Alastair brought me outta hell instead of.. ‘stead of Cas.” He said the angel’s name quietly, with reverence. “And so I drank, and drank, and when that thing in the kitchen-“ he scoffed. “Fuck, that was a low blow from me. And all I kept doing when I closed my eyes was see everyone dead, over and over on a loop. You, mom, Cas, Jack, Bobby, Ellen, Jo-“ 

“Okay, okay, I get it.”

“No, Sam. You don’t cuz I’m the big brother and looking out for you’s my number one job, and what did I do? I fucking hurt you. Multiple times! I-” he choked on the sob as it rolled out his mouth. He pitched forward at the pull in his stitches. “I didn’t even ask how  _ you  _ were, and I ignored the signs of you not sleeping, of you working yourself ragged at making sure the bunker ran smoothly to be there for Jack- I just… I don’t know when it happened, but I started to act like dad. And I just-“ Sam grasped his hand harder, letting his brother say everything. His guts spilled onto the floor and Sam let them roll away. “I … I kissed Cas.”

Sam gentled his tone. “I know Dean.” It did nothing to calm his brother.

“I’m so stupid! My first kiss with him and it was a trainwreck! I manipulated him and I didn’t give him a chance to decide if he  _ wanted  _ to be kissed! I just… I took that from him.”

“You want more.”

Dean looked down at his wounded stomach in shame. “Yeah. Always… always kinda have.”

Sam nodded, squeezing his hand again. “I know, Dean, I know. Maybe.. maybe it’s time for therapy. Maybe you take this serious this time around. Now, hold on before you shoot me down, okay?”

“No, you’re right.”

“Wait, What?”

“Yeah. You’re right. I uh… I’ve been talking to this therapist here. Mom checked out all the staff here, they’re all human.” He winked, making Sam smile and roll his eyes. “Doc says I gotta work through my anger. I… was an ass to you, and it took hitting rock bottom again to realize that. I’m sorry Sam. I’m truly sorry from the bottom of my heart.” 

Sam have his brother a double take, unsure of if he’d heard that right. “Huh?”

“Shut up! I’m just trying to ‘make amends so I can move forward in my relationships with my family and friends in a healthy way.’ Shut up, I’m trying here.” 

Sam smiled. “I know. I’m glad you’re getting help. Maybe we should email Mia Vallens for a few sessions when they let you out. Could be good to talk to a therapist who knows the life.”

Dean shook his head. “No, mom said she found a witch therapist who’s closer. She’s gonna see me when I get released in ninety days.”

“Ninety?! That’s… Dean. That’s so many.”

“I know. I have to be sober to be let out. They have an addictions unit here.” He looked down at his stomach again, face pulling down into a frown , showing his age lines. “It’s time I get sober. I have to get better. I have to make it up to you and mom and Jack and -”

“And Cas.” 

Dean choked out a tear, Sam carefully enveloping him in a hug. “He won’t forgive me.”

“Yes he will. He always does, doesn’t he?”

“He-”

“He’s downstairs with Diana.” Sam pulled away carefully, straightening out Dean’s IV line. Dean looked at him in confusion and awe. “Yeah, he’s the one that brought all your clothes from the bunker, and mom said he threatened to have the hospital defunded if they let you die.” Dean chuckled, hand pulling to his wound again. “Dean, what happened? Cas couldn’t heal you at home?”

Dean’s eyes watered as he whispered out, “I was drunk and mom and I were shouting, and I went to the garage and I… I took out an angel blade and I-“ he lifted his hands, clasped together and swung downwards as if he was stabbing himself in the stomach. “I wasn’t thinking, I just I had to… you know. Pay for my sins or something and I slipped and hit my head on the way down. Cas wasn’t in the bunker. He left after I… after the handcuffing incident.” 

Sam nodded solemnly, sitting back down. He floundered, trying to come up with something, anything. “Ah. Gotcha.”

It was silent between them for several long, tense moments until Dean started, “so… Gabriel?” 

“Yeah. We’re still together. We uh,” Sam found his fingers fumbling, looking away from Dean and his judgemental stare. “We went on vacation.”

“Oh. Was it nice?” 

Sam nodded. “He took me to a hot air balloon ride.”

Dean snorted, shaking his head. “So cheesy.”

“Oh, yeah, he’s a total cheeseball.” Sam grinned with his brother, eyes soft as he remembered how amazing the week had been. “But it was gorgeous, and we went to an artist market before that. And before that we went on a private gondola ride that he had all arranged for before we even got there. It was…”

“Romantic,” he finished.

“Yeah.”

The pause between them was terse, the beeping of Dean’s heart monitor deafening. “You love him.”

Sam looked down at his hands a breath. “Yeah.”

Dean grunted, hand coming up to scrub at his stubble. “Well. I guess I won’t shoot him, them. Maybe a little holy oil if he gets outta line-“

Sam looked at him, unamused. “Dean.” 

“Kidding!” His brother splayed his hands wide, showing a sign of peace. “Just kidding.”

Sam sighed, settling in his chair a little more. “Wanna tell me what you’re really thinking?”

Dean looked away, ashamed. “I’m sorry. About how I reacted to you…. You two being, ya know.”

“Together?”

“Yeah.” Dean fiddled with his fingers, eyes still trained on the wall ahead of him. “You two...you had -  _ have  _ \- what I want, and you were happy away from me, and I got jealous and…” he shrugged. “Why talk about it when you can just yell, huh?”

Sam didn’t laugh at the poor excuse of a joke. He just shifted his chair closer, leaning back as he waited for Dean to look at him. “You were jealous?”

“Yeah.” Dean sniffled. “Shit, I’m such a cry baby this week, crap.” He wiped at his eyes on his hands, rubbing his eyes aggressively. “You… mom said you were good, and you weren’t having nightmares as much, and you’re happy, and I just, it just-”

“Okay.” Sam gently pulled Dean’s hands from his face before he accidentally skewered his eyeball with his fingernail. “Hey,” he said softly, Dean blinking at him. “I’ve been happy being around you too, it’s just… wasn’t healthy how we were, ya know? The ignoring each other’s feelings and not communicating unless it was for work, and shit builds up. And we let it. We let it build up until we explode, and we fight, and we think that it’s okay after. That we’ll do better, but we just end up falling into the same patterns over and over again and that’s dangerous. We can’t do that anymore. I’m in therapy, too.” His brother’s eyebrows climbed his face, Sam chuckling. “Yeah. Mia took me on as a client. She’s offered to take me on for as long as I need, and for whatever I need. We video chat twice a week.”

“Is it helping?”

Dean’s face held something Sam hadn’t seen in a long time. It took him several breaths to realise that it was hope. Hope. Dean was  _ hopeful.  _ **_Holy shit_ ** _.  _

“Yeah-” he croaked, clearing his throat. “Yeah, it’s helping a lot. Helps that I don’t have to lie, either. It’s been hard, especially with how much baggage we both carry, but.. Yeah. I feel a little less powerless, a little more like I can handle whatever comes next.”

“Cool.” Dean yawned, pulling the sheet up over to his clavicle as he shivered. “Man, this detox thing  _ sucks _ .”

“They give you pain meds?”

Dean nodded, annoyance colouring his features. “They’re weaning me off everything slowly, but I still want a shot of whisky. Or ten. Are-” he sneezed suddenly, hand going to his wound in pain again. “Ouch, son of bitch that hurt. Shit.”

“Am I….?”

“Huh? Oh yeah. Are… are you going back to the Wilsons tomorrow or…?”

Sam hesitated. Diana would want to go back home soon, and he didn’t want to leave Jack alone again. They’d only come back from Italy two days ago. The kid missed him. But he knew Jack missed being at the bunker more. He knew he had to stay. For Jack, for Dean, their mom, Cas - maybe for himself too. They’d left the bunker almost four months to the day, the summer now turning quickly to fall around them. Maybe it would be okay now, maybe with Dean in the hospital until the week before Christmas would be good. It would give Dean enough of a chance to get the help he needed, and it would give everyone a sense of normalcy again. They needed it. “We’ll stay for now. Diana and Gabe drove and she’s collapsed in a chair downstairs, passed out with Cas.”

Dean fidgeted at the mention of the angel. “Do.. do you think he’ll want to see me?”

Sam’s lip thinned. “We’ll try tomorrow. Okay?” Dean nodded, somber. “It’s late. We’re gonna head to the bunker for some sleep and see you tomorrow. You should sleep too. Mom said the surgery took a lot out of you.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, it did. The stitches weren’t holding. I got a lot of flack from the doctors about that, but,” he shrugged, “they fixed me so they know what they’re doing here. I’ll see you tomorrow, bitch.”

Sam leaned down to hug his brother, scoffing at the nickname. “Jerk.”


	13. Chapter 13

Sam barely slept. Gabriel rubbed at his back as he lay in bed in his room, so unfamiliar to him after being away so long. He couldn’t get comfortable no matter how he lay, and Gabriel was being far too quiet next to him. “Can you please just say something? I can’t take this silence.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know!” Sam huffed, turning on his side, his hand thrown up and falling back down moments later in exasperation. “I just… I can’t sleep.”

Gabriel turned them, Sam’s head on his chest, the blanket being pulled up over both their heads. “Blanket fort?” Sam nodded, arms wrapping around and underneath his boyfriend. “Okay. Blanket fort rules are known, so I won’t repeat them again, and: Sam. I don’t know what’s going on in your head unless you tell me.”

He closed his eyes, squeezing tightly. “I don’t know what to do. I feel stuck.”

“The choice of Bunker vs the Wilsons? Or the Bunker vs The Wilsons vs Somewhere Else?”

Sam looked up at him, barely making out his features in the dark. “Huh? Where else… you wanna get a place together or something?”

Gabriel chuckled. “Oh our salaries? I doubt we could swing that. I won’t lie and say I’ve never thought about it, but it wouldn’t be practical.”

“Practical is staying here, being close to mom and Cas and Dean.”

“Is practical what you want?”

“Is it what  _ you _ want?”

Gabriel sighed. He opened the blanket fort enough to yank the light on before enveloping them both under the duvet. “I want you. I want you safe and healthy and happy. I want that for Jack too. I want a relationship with my brother that is an actual brotherly relationship, not one of ‘duty’ or whatever it was before. I want to wake up with you every morning and have you chastise me for eating too much sugar-”

“You want that? I thought you hated that.”

“I do, but - but it shows me that you care about me.” 

Sam reached a hand up, wiping the tear in Gabriel’s eye before it had the chance to fall. “I do care about you. I love you, Gabe.”

Gabriel smiled, a soft, warm smile that came out only every so often. “I know. I love you, too. I just… need a little reminding sometimes.” He sniffed, closing his eyes a moment to gain his bearings. “Sometimes I have to remind myself I’m allowed something good. Remind myself that… that I’m not  _ there _ anymore.” 

Sam nodded, leaning up to kiss his boyfriend on the mouth carefully. He knew Gabriel craved touch, needed to be reminded he was safe. They were two asteroids colliding in space who both needed gentle hands and soft whispers. Shame that wasn’t the kind of life they normally lived. “Okay. Well. I think we should stay and ask Cas to go get Jack. And when Dean gets out-” he sucked in breath, the months like a countdown counter going off in his head. “If he gets too much again, we’ll take a break again. If you need a vacation, we’ll take one. We’ll take it day by day.” 

“Okay.”

“Okay! Good. And babe, you’re allowed good things. Be both do.” 

Gabriel nodded, kissing his forehead and enjoying the warmth from his boyfriend’s body. The silence wrapped them in a blanket of comfort. Home wasn’t the bunker for Sam as much as it was being with his family, and however it happened, Gabriel became part of Sam’s family some time ago. They let it wash over them a while, Gabriel weaving his fingers in Sam’s hair, trying to get him to fall asleep. After twenty minutes, when it clear it wasn’t working, Gabriel asked, “so… wanna make out?”

Sam laughed, shaking his head. “Yeah, why not?”

 

\-----------------

 

Sleep, as fitful as it was, was actually something Sam got that night, awaking tired but content that it was bone deep exhaustion. The bunker was fairly quiet that morning, most of its occupants out on hunts or doing something else here and there. Garrett and Riley had gotten jobs in town with the local butcher, wanting to contribute. The added perk was getting lambs blood charge free whenever they needed.

Walking in to the kitchen to start coffee, he was surprised to see Diana already there, pulling muffins from the oven. “Uh…. you  _ baked? _ ”

“Pfft! Don’t be ridiculous. I got these from the bakery in town.” She closed the oven door with her hip, motioning for him to get a plate. “I’m just heating them up for us. Met your mom, by the way. She’s really… something else.” 

Sam looked at her face, twisted in grief and lost in her memories. “I’m sorry Di-“ 

“Nah. It’s fine.” 

“I can ask Gabe if he can check heaven if she’s- “

“Stop.” She stared him down, shutting him up instantly. “It’s fine. It’s just… I know she’s gone. I don’t need to relive it. I was  _ going  _ to say that your mom looks super young, which, fair, she died young and came back, but I’m just saying, she should open a stand in the mall for anti aging cream and have you stand around her.” Her mouth curved in a smirk. “Make sure to call her ‘mom’ a lot. You’d make a killing.”

Sam chuckled, stealing a blueberry muffin from the tray. “I’ll let her know. Uh, have you seen her this morning?” 

“She came with me to the bakery and then I dropped her off at the hospital. Cas is still there. He won’t leave the main lobby and he’s starting to freak everyone out.” Diana sighed, sitting down heavily at the table. “I’m going to have Susan drive Jack down in your car tomorrow, and then I’ll drive us back in my truck. I’d have her do it today but she’s got a shift. Lynn’s not feeling too well anyways, so she’s quarantined.” 

“Oh no, what happened?” 

Diana sighed, sitting heavily on the chair closest to her. “She went to get her flu shot and some asshole sneezed in her face while her mouth was open.”

Sam recoiled in disgust, suddenly losing his appetite as he lowered himself in the seat across from her, fiddling with the muffin on his plate. “That’s disgusting.” 

“Tell me about it.” Diana sighed before chuckling. “Susan said she punched him and lectured him about the importance of covering your mouth when you sneeze and cough and the guy said he’d call security on her.”

He couldn’t help but laugh. Lynn, cool, composed, collected Lynn, punching someone for sneezing into her mouth. “Did he?”

“Didn’t get a chance. She pants him and ran the other way.” 

“Lynn for the win!” They turned to see Gabriel stroll in wearing his PJ’s and one of Sam’s Stanford hoodies. “Honestly, I’d probably do the same.” 

Sam wrinkled his face. “That’s what worries me.” 

Gabriel shrugged, grabbing a muffin and sitting down next to Sam, throwing his legs over his lap. Gabriel was still tired from the drive, though he wouldn’t admit it out loud, too proud. He carefully opened it, depositing the wrapper on Sam’s plate. “I can handle myself,” he said through a mouthful of orange cranberry. 

He smiled, leaching off of Gabriel’s confidence to lean in and kiss his temple. Gabriel turning in shock. “I know you can, but you still shouldn’t punch people for  _ sneezing _ . It sets the wrong example for Jack.” Gabe grumbled but agreed. Sam picked at his muffin, turning to see Diana looking at them with a smile. “What?” 

She shook her head, shrugging. “Nothing. We need coffee. Where do you keep it?” He pointed to the coffee maker, a new can next to the machine. “Cool. You want a cup?” 

The rest of the morning was spent with coffee and muffins, the conversation on anything but Dean. Diana knee Sam wasn’t actively avoiding the subject, that he just needed a distraction, and so that’s what she gave him. When they grew restless of the kitchen, Gabriel went off in search of his old room, taking whatever was left in there to Sam’s -  _ their _ room. Sam offered to move into Gabe’s room, but they both agreed that it didn’t make sense. Sam was in his longer, and his bed was bigger, sheets softer. 

 

While Gabe was preoccupied, Sam gave Diana the official tour. When they’d gotten in last night, all he showed her was the bathroom, the kitchen, and Cas’ room so she could crash. There weren’t any other rooms empty, but Diana told him she would have gladly slept in the infirmary with how exhausted she was. He was explaining the hunt they were on where they got sucked into Scooby-Do world as he showed her the rec room when he stopped abruptly. “Diana?”

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“I just- you’ve been eternally patient with us being at your house and I wanted to thank you for that. I know we’ve not made it easy for you, and-“

 

“Stop.” She held up a hand, eyes closed a moment to compose herself. Sam felt himself sinking, spiraling in guilt. “Just… stop, please.” She opened her eyes, a kind smile shining through them. “You’re my friend, and I care about you a lot. I often wish that we’d kept a closer eye on you after that first hunt, that maybe things would have been better for you. Then… you died, Sam. Went to the cage. And seeing you again, soulless? It was… like a smack to the face. I thought ‘see, this is what happens when you don’t keep people close.’ Susan and I fought about it after the leviathan too. We heard Dean and Castiel got sucked into purgatory and we debated on how to get back in touch with you and get you to come hunt with us, especially after Bobby died. But when Garth told us he couldn’t find you, we figured you just needed time and space, so we gave it to you. Just… I’m glad to have you back in my life, man.” 

“You… you felt guilty? Over that?” He couldn’t believe it. “Diana, that had nothing to do with you, you have to know that.”

“Yeah, but it didn’t stop the guilt from eating away at me anyways.” She shrugged one shoulder. “I’ve gotten through it, just was hard. It’s hard when you see someone’s hurting and don’t know how to help them.” 

Sam nodded. “I know.” The gaping hole in his heart opened up, a sob ripping from his chest as his knees buckled under him. It hit him like a freight train, thankful Diana grabbed him and manhandled him to the couch. She pulled him into a hug, his head tucking into the small place where her neck met his shoulder. “Shit. Sorry, I just-“ 

“Shhh… it’s okay. You’re allowed to cry, Sam. It’s okay. I’m sorry you’re hurting, but you’re allowed to feel it. Just let it happen.” 

He sobbed, loud and ugly kind of crying, a pathetic snort of a laugh filling the air. “What happened to the ‘I’ll feel emotion when I’m dead’ Diana?” 

“She fell in love, dumbass.” 

He choked on a laugh, her hand rubbing soothing circles on his back. They broke apart at the sound of pounding feet. “Sam? _ Sam? _ ” 

He turned to see Gabriel sliding to a stop in the doorway, a look of unbridled concern with a touch of horror on his face. “He’s okay,” Diana assured him, rubbing Sam’s shoulder. “I think it’s just hitting him.” 

Gabriel nodded, relief flooding his face at the fact that Sam wasn’t bleeding out on the floor again. “It’s gonna work out,” he assured him, wrapping around Sam’s back like a koala, head resting on his shoulder. “It’s gonna be okay. You got me, you got  _ us.  _ All of us. Okay? It’s okay.” 

Sam let himself be wrapped up by his friend and boyfriend, crying it out for almost an hour, thankful he had people in his life that took care of him. It had been just him and Dean for so long, he didn’t think he could make it a third time without his brother. He just couldn’t. It was too much. But he had other people in his life now who looked out for him. Cas, his mom, Gabriel, Diana, Jody, Donna, so many more who wanted nothing but happiness for him. Safety, health, and happiness. He felt loved. He  _ was  _ loved. It was too much and yet… exactly what he needed. 

He calmed down, eventually, letting go of Diana to turn and kiss Gabriel carefully on the forehead. “I’m okay. Thank you,” he whispered, closing his eyes as familiar fingers pushed his hair from his face. “I’m going to shower, and then we should go see Dean. Diana, you want to stay here?” 

She nodded, wiping his tear streaked face with a smile. “Yeah. Going to leach off your wifi and find… mmm. Something.”

Sam cocked his head trying to figure out what she was doing to do, but Gabriel beat him to the punch. “You’re going to propose to Lynn, aren’t you? You’re looking for a ring.”

“What? Really?” Sam felt his mouth break out into a grin, happiness and shock filling his little sore heart. “When?” 

Diana groaned. “Stop reading my mind, Gabriel. You know, that’s a breach of privacy.”

“I didn’t. You keep fiddling with your ring finger, and I read your texts to Susan over your shoulder when we were filling up gas in Memphis.” He shrugged, completely unapologetic. “You should go with the iron ring. Lynn would  _ love  _ to punch a ghost in the face with it. And no diamonds, go with something unique, maybe an amethyst or jade.”

Diana looked at him suspiciously, waiting for him to pull an ‘aha, gotcha!’ but when he didn’t, she just nodded, standing and stretching. She let every joint pop before yawning and cracking her knuckles. “I’ll do that. Can I borrow your laptop, Sam? I want to have it delivered to hour P.O.Box so she doesn’t accidentally find it.”

He nodded, motioning back towards his room. “On my desk, help yourself.” She gently hugged him one last time before taking her leave. Sam turned around in Gabriel’s arms, looking at him with suspicion. “What was that all about? Were you a jeweler in a past life or something?” 

Gabriel cocked an eyebrow, mouth tugging into a smile on one side of his face. “Lynn’s already got a ring for her. It’s in a box she’s hidden in the garden gnome out front. I saw her stashing it and she showed it to me so long as i wouldn’t tell Di. It’s silver with a lapis lazuli stone.” 

Sam laughed, warm and big. Of  _ course  _ Lynn would get a ring that  _ looked _ like Diana. With her platinum blonde hair and blue eyes, the ring would be a great match. “In a  _ gnome _ ?!”

“Who the hell would look in a gnome for an engagement ring?”

Sam lumped his eyebrows, tilting his head to the right in agreement. “Makes sense.” He settled into the couch, unmoving in his comfort. “I’ll get up in a second.”

Gabriel kissed his temple, grip tightening. “It’s going to be okay, baby. I promise. I got you, I got you.” 

Sam nodded. He  _ was  _ going to be okay. It always ended up okay, no matter how bad things got, there was always some solace between apocalypses. He could find solace here work on himself, work on getting his family together again. He didn’t have to do all the work this time, he had people in his corner. He would get through this. For now, he was okay to just stay on the couch in Gabriel’s arms, promising himself that he’d take care of the archangel as much as he was taking care of him. He’d be okay, he was okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter, feeling sick but I can't come up with anything better. Hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
